The End of Summer (September '11)

September marked as the beginning of many things: the first day at the new school, the first behavior taken home from school, the first soccer class and thus for Mommy, becoming a Soccer Mom. Even though Kai had attended summer school to warm him up, I still consider September 7, 2011 the beginning of a new chapter in his life.

He loves school and loves his new friends, but nevertheless, it’s always such a joy to be picked up again by Mommy & Lil’ Bro. Routine is that the children sit and wait on the rug with one of the teachers until the parent appears in the door opening. What happens then, is just heart warming:

Parent shows their face, child quickly looks at teacher, who then nods in approval, child leaps up and runs across the floor, flies into mommy’s arms and grasps on as if to never let go again. One afternoon, Kai, filled with excitement, gave both Ryder and me this big hug, followed by: "I've got you back Mommy! I've got Ryder back! I had so much fun in school." [sigh]

The class is made up out of 13 toddlers and 2 very patient teachers. Did I mention I LOVE this school? One afternoon on the way home, Kai mentions “the two Savannah’s” who are in his class – huh? This truly is a wonderful piece of toddler logic: twins. One’s name is Savannah, the other one looks exactly like her, hence “the two Savannah’s”. Makes perfect sense, right?

Kai seems to go through phases of “obsession”. September went down as the Puzzle Month. He couldn’t get enough of the puzzles he had. It was all he wanted to play with. He got as far as finishing a 48-piece puzzle by himself and once that job was completed, there was nothing else he’d rather do than puzzle some more. Oma gets such a thrill out of this!!

When your kids are in school they bring home all sorts of things: pieces of art, stories, germs, colds, flu, habits and…expressions. Only a few weeks in, we had our first share of “where did you learn this?” when out of the blue Kai announced that he was “dope”. David and I laughed so hard we cried. When we asked him where he had learned that, his response: “Olivia from school.” (He really likes Olivia).

Given Kai’s heritage of being half Dutch, and thus soccer being undeniably engraved in his genetic make-up, it only makes perfect sense that he gets introduced to this sport at an early age. So, on September 11, he had his first soccer practice.

He loves soccer. Mommy loves Kai loving soccer. Everyone happy.

And then there is Ryder. Ryder eats. He eats. And he eats.

One evening, cucumber salad was on the menu for dinner. As I was prepping the rest of dinner, the boys came in, asking for a snack. I gave them a piece of cucumber. Within 30 seconds they were back. I gave them another piece. Then I gave them a little plate to take with them. Then I refilled the plates. Until…

… and this was before dinner had started.

Other than that, Ryder is coasting along, going his own way. He discovered the driver’s seat of the car. What a fascinating place: tons of buttons, a steering wheel, a noise maker and lights in different colors. Just like Christmas.

And there were the parties. We had a block party on our street. The last one was the day we closed escrow on the house and we were out of town. We missed that one, but now, 8 years later, we had another one. And it was fun. Music, fun people, good food and drinks, and fun games. What more would we want? It was a great day and during which we made a great discovery too: our babies got rhythm:

And finally, there was the big event at the end of the month: My friend Melanie lives in Ottawa and in April of this year she was diagnosed with breast cancer. After surgery in May, she started chemo in September, but despite all this, she took on the challenge of participating in a 5K Run to raise money for the Ottawa Cancer Foundation. Here was an amazing woman who was fighting the fight of her life and RUNNING a 5K!! “Respect” is an understatement here.

In order to support her in her efforts, I organized and hosted a fundraiser, raising $3,000 for her cause. I catered the event myself, we had an auction with amazing products and a group of even more amazing people, supporting a friend of a friend. It warmed my heart to have so many people step up and help out. Just amazing.

As I write this, Melanie is doing great. She finished her last Chemo tour on Thanksgiving Day and just arrived in Florida for a month of rest, peace and tranquility. After four chemo tours and all the effects those have had on her body, she starts her recovery. And what a wonderful way to start it off!!

So, September was a busy month. A month with lots of highs and achievements. It marked the end of summer, the beginning of a new school year and of becoming a Soccer Mom. Yes, I am officially a Soccer Mom. And Yes, I love it. (And No, I don’t drive a Mini-Van).

Happy to Be Mom

Even if I had had the time to sit down and write over the past weeks, not much exciting would have been put on paper.  It would have been limited to stories about colds, snotty noses, coughing spells in the middle of the night, raspy voices, more snotty noses and Vicks.  That pretty much sums up the past few weeks.

Then came the other day at the playground.  It was a sunny afternoon and perfect to spend an hour after naps outside, running, climbing, chasing and sliding.  The playground is part of a recreational area, managed by the city of Los Angeles.  There are picnic tables, baseball fields, basketball courts and around a large field lies a track that is used for strolling, walking, jogging and other workout activities.

As the boys were climbing, going down slides and chasing each other, a little girl caught my attention.  She must have been approximately the same age as Kai.  She had beautiful blond curls that bounced around as she was playing in the sand.  Next to her sat a lady, who certainly wasn't her mother.  I assumed she was the nanny.  All of a sudden the girl got up out of the sand and walked over to the fence.  While holding on to the wire, she pointed and said: "Look Maria!  It's Mommy!"  I looked in the direction she was pointing and as I clocked a blond woman strolling over the track, talking to (what I assume was) her friend, the little girl called out "Hi Mommy!" and waved enthusiastically.  The blond woman didn't hear or see her.  The little girl hesitated for a moment.  Then, she hung her head and with a sad look on her face, returned to the edge of the sand box where she sat and just stared at the sand in front of her.

It is by no means my intention to start the discussion on the pros and cons of nannies, but it reminded me of a conversation I had had with a nanny at that same playground a few months ago.  She told me that she had been the nanny of this little boy for practically his entire life (he was 5 at the time).  His father was a producer, his mom didn't work.  "So," I asked.  "If his mom doesn't work, then why are you practically raising this boy?"  The answer: "because his mom goes for pedicures, wine get-togethers and spa visits with her girlfriends."  I remember at that point, my mouth just dropping open.  I was so dumbfounded that I was unable to get a word out of it.

Seeing the little girl, desperately wanting to connect with her mom and not being able to do so, broke my heart and as I am writing this, my heart goes out to her.  All she wanted, was to connect with her mom.  The person she should be connecting with.  On the playground, at home, in the park, heck, in the grocery store.  Don't get me wrong, a break once in a while from being a mom is nice.  Some pampering, hanging out with friends, I am all for it.  But when I look around at these playgrounds I see so many children with nannies / baby sitters, that I couldn't help but make certain assumptions when I saw the events of that afternoon unfold in front of my eyes.

Seeing the sadness and disappointment in this little girl's eyes, made me realize how happy I am with the life that I live.  Though I still teach part-time, I get to spend amazing quality time with my boys.

I get to go to the playground with them and push them in the swings:




I get to tuck my boys in for the naps and get to see how Kai prefers to fall asleep for naptime:



On those beautiful days that he actually takes the nap, I get to wake him up and walk in on this:



I get to experience this "view from above".  The baby, grabbing on to my legs, with no intention of letting go until hugs, kisses and more hugs have been delivered:



I get to be there when Kai discovers a new hiding place:



And finally, I get to be the one Kai comes to to show off his new footwear:



Honestly, it would bother me if I wasn't there to share those moments.  I LOVE those moments and am so incredibly grateful that those moments are MY memories of my children growing up.

Yes, there are absolutely days that I wish there was someone who was willing to take my little devils off my hands, so I could regain my sanity.  But despite the sleep deprivation, the toddler tantrums, the moments of needing to count to 10 100, I love being a mom and I love taking them to the playground, being the one whose arms they run into for hugs and kisses and to be excitedly told "I LOVE you Mommyyyyy!!"

Pre-MenoWHAT?!?

Earlier today I spoke with a friend of mine who was having one of "those" days.  You know, the one that starts not so great and then only gets worse?  That one.  Our conversation took place around 9am and at that point it was obvious that it was going to be one of those days for her.  Especially since she hadn't had her Java yet.  Ah, the a.m. Java and the p.m. glass of wine.  What would we do without them?  I was happy to be her "venting buddy", but when she went into a bit more detail about the mood swings that had been plaguing her lately, I felt as if I was listening to myself.  Her assumption?  It must be a pre-menopausal thing.  WHAT was that?!?!  WHAT did you say?  Did you just say "pre-menopausal"?  Oh no girlfriend, I am soooo not ready for that yet!!  For one person it may be a pre-menopausal thing, but I think in my case I prefer to call it "being-mother-to-two-lovely-cute-little-boys-who-regularly-test-boundaries-and-enjoy-pushing-buttons" (my buttons, that is).

In the beginning of January I committed myself to a little experiment: for 3 weeks, upon waking in the morning, I would choose how I wanted to be throughout the day.  I had a little bright pink Post-It note taped to my bathroom mirror, so it would remind me.  Every morning, I took a deep breath and decided what I was going to be about and how I wanted to be with the children.  These 3 weeks turned into 3 amazing weeks.  I admit that I wasn't always successful in maintaining the attitude that I had committed to in the morning, but the few times that this happened, it didn't take me much time to realize what was going on and to get back to where I wanted to be.

It was difficult though, especially with a stubborn, trying, testing the boundaries toddler on my hands.  He seems to have a knack for finding my buttons and pushing them.  Heck, sometimes the kid manages to turn me into one huge button in and by itself.  I hate it when that happens.

Luckily David and I manage to rotate those days; the days that I am the big red button that walks around signaling "Push Me!  Push Me!" are the days that he seems like a Buddhist monk: calm, together, nothing can possibly ruffle his feathers.  And then there are days that those roles are reversed (although I hardly ever consider myself as calm as a Buddhist monk).  Yep, it's a perfect marriage.  We compliment each other pretty well.

Over the past weeks I have had my share of being the Big Red Button around the house, today I was the calm, together, Buddhist monk (wannabe) and it came with my "aha" moment: as parents of toddlers we are pummeled with "give them a clear choice", "be consistent", "draw a clear line", "communicate well", "pick your battles", and so on.  I realized that in many occasions (when I have a Big Red Button day), I "react" and the reaction is what fuels the fire.  Choices are great, but not as a reaction to an action.  The choice needs to come first, before the action.  If that is the case, there is no need for a reaction.  Confused?

Here's an example:
It's bath time and Kai doesn't want to go in the bath.  It's time to get in, he runs away and turns it into a "catch me if you can game".  We react and tell him that he could either come, get in the bath, and have his daily pillow fight prior to going to bed, or we will come get him, in which case he'll go kicking and screaming and the pillow fight will not happen.  This is where it goes from bad to worse. 

Or

Bath time arrives and we give him 2 choices: a bath followed by his pillow fight, or straight to bed.  Which one would he prefer?  Whichever one he chooses, we'll just have to make sure that we're okay with it.  If per chance he changes his mind somewhere half way through the process that follows, it'll be a lot easier for us to calmly explain that this was his choice and if he wishes to do it differently the following day, he can.  We're not reacting with an action, we're reacting with an explanation.

It is fascinating to me that those days that I felt like that Big Red Button, were the days that I didn't take the time in the morning to decide how I was going to be throughout that day.  I let my toddler who came running in and started using my bed as a trampoline, yelling "Mama, wake up!  Make Breakfast!  Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!", waking the baby in the room next door have an effect on my mood that day.  (It may be hard to believe, but a scenario like that, does make it somewhat more challenging to wake up in a calm, relaxed, and zen-like mood.) 

At this point, I can happily say that I have put the thought of pre-menopausal challenges to rest.  Those challenges will have to wait until a later point in my life.  For now, I am simply a mother to two little boys (who I love and adore to pieces) and who are discovering the world around them.

Flooding, Attempted Burglary, Sleep Deprivation, Baking Fool, Baby Shower, Cloning...

...What do these things have in common?

Answer: Me.

I don't even know where to start.  Since I guarantee, I won't be able to follow some chronological pattern here, I guess I'll just start 'somewhere'. 

At the moment I am waiting for the plumber to come over.  Yes, I have a date with the plumber!  And if all works out the way I envision it, he'll be the hero of the day!  David has been working hard and has been gone for most of the past few weeks, which means that I have been playing 'single mom'.  Now, in and by itself that is okay, but when you're exhausted and at the end of the day, walk through the kitchen into the laundry room and you hear 'slushing' sounds (for a lack of a better word) coming from under your feet, combined with water that seeps out through the grout lines between the (what is supposed to be) firm tile floor...that's a bit freakish.  Long story short: our kitchen and laundry room flooded last night.  Not pretty.  I am filled with anticipation, waiting on the plumber who is going to save my day.

Speaking of freakin' me out: a week and a half ago, someone tried to break in to David's car.  While it was parked ON THE DRIVE WAY!!!!  They tried to pry the back window on the side out, but as luck would have it, safety glass doesn't give much.  It didn't come out, but burst in a million pieces.  Luckily they couldn't get through it, but the fact that it happened on our drive way, right outside my toddler's window totally wigged me out. 

The past few weeks have been marked by severe sleep deprivation that Ryder instilled upon me.  Good thing he's so darn cute, but every night he would wake up at 5am.  It's still dark outside dude!!  That means, it's sleepy time!!  For both you AND mama.  Dark = Sleep.  Yeah, nice idea, but convince a 7-month dudenator of that.  I tried.  Believe me, I tried.  And then I tried.  And I tried some more.  The last 2 nights, he managed to make it through the night, until 6am.  It's better than 5am, but still, neither David, nor I are very thrilled.  As I said, it's a good thing he's so cute.  The charm still makes me forget everything (be it for just a moment...)

[a day later]

It's now a day later.  I had to stop writing because my 'date' arrived...

Update: not pretty.  A pipe broke in the wall.  As I said: not pretty.  AT ALL!  Water in the wall, on the inside in cabinets, on the outside in the stucco, under the tiles on the floor.  We now have a huge dehumidifier and 2 giant fans standing in the kitchen drying everything up.  They are loud enough that I can't hear the TV while sitting on the sofa in the living room.  They make the kitchen smell nasty and it's HOT in the kitchen.  These will continue to live beautifully in the way, in the middle of my kitchen until...well, things are dry.  I did dishes in the bath tub yesterday.  It seriously felt like a camping experience.  The plumber came back today and fixed the problem.  Pipe is fixed, sink is in action again, but now we have to get the damages assessed.  Oh boy...

This past weekend I hosted my friend's baby shower.  It was so much fun!  The theme was an English afternoon tea.  The guests were supposed to bring their favorite tea in a pot, we provided the cups & saucers and the yummy goodies that belong to a tea.  Over the past few weeks I suffered through trying out recipes, but the result turned out great.  Scones with jam, lemon curd and cream, sandwiches, brownies, lox & cream cheese filled cucumbers and...cupcakes. 

Believe it or not, I had never made cupcakes before, but these 'sparkling' cupcakes with a hint of prosecco in them turned out great.  I think we added an inch to all the guests' waists, but hey, it was for a good cause, right?

In other news, I have been preoccupied with my legal status lately.  Being from Europe I have a green card, but last week we (almost) finished my citizenship application.  I had to appear for my interview, which went well and I 'passed the test', so to speak.  I am now waiting for the letter that tells me when I will be sworn in as a US citizen.  It's all very exciting.

Oh yes, and then there is work.

So, Ryder is being cute.  He's still dispensing almost equal the amount of H2O to the Niagara Falls, but other than his 2 bottom teeth...nothing. 

He's so close to crawling, it's not even funny.  I had David lower the mattress in his (Ryder's, not David's) crib yesterday as he now also is starting to pull himself up.  He is also starting to get into the rice puffs.  Yeah!!  I remember with Kai that for a while that would entertain him enough to be in the high chair and not throw an immediate fit because their was no spoon in his mouth.  With Ryder it seems to be the same thing.  The kid likes his food though: 4 oz. of solids for breakfast, 10 oz. for lunch and 12 oz. for dinner.  Plus the copious amounts of milk he drinks (approx. 30 oz./day).

Kai is the real toddler.  He has really gotten into building towers. 

Either with small blocks, big blocks, or his Wedgits (he loves loves loves these).  Every masterpiece is being shown off to mama and papa.  He gets so proud and excited when he finishes it.  And then there is the obsession about wild animals.  We're all about wild animals.  The other day we actually went to the library, picked up books on wild animals and spent the afternoon flipping through them on the ground.  Obviously, the zoo yesterday was once again a success.
Today marks day 3 in the past 3 weeks that he is taking a nap.  I seriously think that he might be dropping his last nap, but I (even more seriously) hope that I am mistaken and that my perseverance will pay off.  He's napping right now.  Thank heavens.  The times that he naps, I often find him like this in his room:

We just started our own "toddler reward program".  I made a list of activities, occasions that had proven to be tantrum inducing challenging, resulting in a very moody, defiant and frustrated toddler.  I am on purpose not elaborating on the frustrations that mommy experienced from this.  Anyways, one of my friend mentioned this working at her house, so I gave it a try: every time he 'helps mama / papa brush Kai's teeth / clip Kai's nails' or shares his toys, plays gently with Ryder, etc. he receives a sticker.  He picks the sticker and puts it on his chart.  We then count the stickers we have and when we reach 20, he gets to pick a toy out of a grab bag.  It has made such a huge difference!!! 

Kai LOVES to help, so whenever he has a chance to help out, he gets excited.  This is making for a much more relaxed toddler, who cooperates more than fights - it's working well for us.

I think at this point the last topic of 'cloning' is self-explanatory.  I'm all for it.  Why don't we start with me?  At this point I would do A LOT to have 2 of me in this house.  It would make all the work so much lighter (by 50% mind you!!). 

Well, that was an update of the past weeks.  Now I (myself, my lonely me) am going back to cleaning and tidying.  If I don't have my kitchen, let me at least have a tidy living room.

I Look Like a Thief

2 days ago I stopped by Michaels Arts & Crafts to pick up some art supplies for some at home fun for Kai.  Kai was so well behaved that, when he came up to me with a purple ball and asked if he could have that, I figured I could spare the $1 on the desired toy.

That afternoon, my friend Jackie and her 2 boys (Kai - yes, we had 2 Kai's at the house and though it made for some confusion among the kiddo's, the scenarios were quite amusing at times - and Dustin) joined us for a play date.  Just like moms do at play dates, Jackie and I chatted and chatted, occasionally pausing to tell the kids to "play nice and share".  Our conversation planted the seed for another project that I wanted to try out, so yesterday, guess where we went...Michaels! 

On our way out, Kai wanted to bring his blankies, but after some convincing from my part, he decided it was acceptable to leave them on the sofa.  BUT...he had to bring his new purple ball.  Fine by me.

Once at Michaels, Kai hops out of the car, I put Ryder in the carrier on my chest, get my bag and lock the car.  There is so much to think about when running a simple errand such as getting some poster board and some stickers.  Ugh.  I enter the store and as I turn around and see Kai walk through the sliding doors, following me, my heart stops.  In his hand?  The purple ball I had gotten at this very store the day before.  Nope, didn't have the receipt anymore, threw it out at home.  Here I am with a toddler holding a ball, which to any employee looks like he just pulled it off the shelf, therefore making it theft if he walked out the door without me paying for it.

Option 1: he holds the ball, we look like we're shoplifting and I explain that we (truthfully) bought the ball yesterday.
Option 2: I find a way to take the ball from him, put it in my bag, I look like I'm shoplifting, while dealing with a toddler who will without any doubt throw an absolute fit.

Either way: I am going to look like I'm shoplifting and am stealing this darn ball, worth a whopping $1!

I picked option 2, but for the next 10 minutes my mind races faster than I can keep up with it.  "How the hell was I was going to do this?"  And then...there is the sticker aisle.  And a spare, empty shopping basket.  Kai wants to pull things off the shelf and fill the basket. 
"Hallelujah!  Thank you My Love for accommodating my evil plan"!  "Yes, go ahead and fill up the basket!  While you're at it, put your ball in it as well, it frees up both hands to hold the basket."  
[Ball goes in basket.  Step 1 completed!]
Me: "Honey, that basket is getting pretty heavy, give it to me, I'll carry it."
[Kai hands over basket.  Yeah!  Step 2 completed]
As Kai turns around I quickly grab the ball, stuff it in my bag and start putting other things back onto the shelf until only the desired sticker sheets remain. 
[Woohoo, mission completed!  Now, let's hope no one saw me, including my own son.]
[I give the basket back to Kai.]
Kai: "Mommy!!  Mommy!!  Kai's ball!  Kai's purple ball!!"
Mommy's heart breaks and all tricks to divert and distract are being pulled out of the bag of tricks, until that bag is as empty as it can be.  The crappy thing is that I totally forgot to bring a cereal bar.  Note to self: never ever leave without the proper amount of snacks as bribes negotiating material!

As we manage to make it to the check-out line without Kai actually throwing a fit, I realize we're pretty safe, unless the ball falls out of my bag at the check out stand or something.  It doesn't and we make it to the car.  As Kai plops down in his seat I pull the ball out of my bag and show him.  His face lights up and he and his purple $1 ball are inseparable for the rest of the ride home.

I seriously hope that no one saw me, because despite not shoplifting at all, it certainly must have looked like I did.  Sigh...and all that for a $1 ball.  No, actually, all that for a happy toddler.

Welcome Home Mommy!

Our Mom's Weekend Out was a big enough success that there are already ideas going around about the next one.  The next time I've been gone for a few days, however, I would prefer a slightly different welcome from my baby boy.  As warm and as loving as the initial 'welcome back' moments were, the one that followed a few hours later, in the middle of the night, wasn't quite what I had hoped for.

Despite having been gone and having had the chance to rest for the weekend, I was exhausted by the time 10pm came around.  A good night's sleep and I would be ready for Monday.  Bring it on.  My Monday this week started at 5am when Ryder woke up crying.  As a mom you develop the ability to translate your baby's cries and though I was pretty darn good at it back in the day with Kai (these days it's a different story), I had to re-learn the whole science of cry-interpretation with Ryder.  You'd think I didn't get enough practice in with Kai, but trust me I did.  I think this was purely a case of selective memory.

So, 5am comes around and Ryder is up.  This time not with the kind of fussing that will stop, after which he'll fall asleep again.  It was a different cry.  One that told me, to go in and check on him.  And there I went.  Stumbling down the hall, into his room.  A little voice in the back of my head said: "check if he's hungry" and so I did by gently sticking me finger into his mouth. 

And bingo!!  There it was...!!

The cause of all evil.

The beginning of the end of baby-hood.

A tooth.

His first tooth.

Right at that moment my heart stopped.  I had dreaded this moment for so long and here it was.  It had come out of nowhere, with no lead in time (other than 3 months of drool, drool and more drool, but hey, drool doesn't mean much to me anymore).  At that very moment, at 5am on Monday morning, my baby made me realize (even more) that he was growing up. 

Given the fact that we are most likely not going to have any more children, that meant that the gummy smiles were gone.  Forever.  I loved them so much and it broke my heart to think that this was it.  That the last time I saw him smile, had been the last time I had seen his gummy smile.  I love gummy smiles.  And though the smiles with teeth are absolutely just as precious, there is something so very special about the gummy ones.  At least to me.

Some topical gel and Ibuprofen later, Ryder rolled over, cuddled with his blankie and went straight back to sleep.  Calm, soothed, and happy.

Mommy, on the other hand, let loose a few tears before she fell asleep.  It had been a bittersweet return home.  I am absolutely blessed and happy that my baby boy is healthy and is turning into a 'big' boy, however I am sad that yet another chapter of 'infancy' has been closed and is now behind me.  I loved his gummy smile and I just wasn't ready to let it go quite yet.  This just proves, once again, that our children grow up on their own terms.  As parents we do so much to encourage and support their growth, however, at the same time there is nothing we can do as they just do it on their own.

This feeling is similar to the one I had when I realized that Ryder wasn't falling asleep in my arms anymore. I know that these moments will be replaced by new ones that in turn will be just as precious, yet I cannot help but be a bit sad. 

Thank you Ryder, for reminding me to really live in the moment and to experience every single moment fully.  They are precious and before we know it, they're gone, to never return again.  Afterall:

The present is a gift, that's why it's called 'The Present'.

On Raising Kids...

This morning I was reminded on how much we look at 'the experts' around us to solve the challenges we face in motherhood / parenthood.  As parents we spend a lot of time trying to 'figure it out'.  Whatever 'it' may be.  And by the time we do (figure it out), our little ones have changed and decide to mix things up again.  We look at the people around us and compare our children to others:  "So-and-so walked at 10 months.  Why isn't my child walking yet?  He's 14 months already".  And there we go: we dive into the books, we call our pediatrician, and worst of all: we 'Google' our concern.  Though the internet is a wonderful place to get a lot of information, it can also be a place that can worry you for no good reason.

Long story short: we get so wrapped up in 'figuring it out' that we sometimes forget to just enjoy the moment.  I have written two posts about that since I started blogging and I often return to read them.
Living In The Moment
Enjoy Them, They Grow Up So Fast
It always puts me back with my feet on the ground, while it breaks my heart at the same time, realizing that my kids are growing up so incredibly fast.  (Sometimes faster than I'd like them to).

All this reminded me of a piece that Anna Quindlen, Newsweek columnist and author, once wrote and I wanted to share it.  I am pretty sure that some part of this will ring a bell for every.single.parent. who reads this.


On Raising Kids...

by Anna Quindlen

If not for the photographs, I might have a hard time believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yellow ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe above her chin.

All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like.

Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories.

What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations --what they taught me, was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all. Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One child is toilet trained at 3, his sibling at 2.

When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing.

Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every  part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the, "Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame." The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?
 
But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make  while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them, sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6,  4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.
  
Even  today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be.
  
The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was  sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were....

Stop and Smell The Roses

Every afternoon the boys and I go for a walk.  Well, almost every afternoon - if it's not too hot.  They usually wake up around 4pm and after nursing Ryder, that doesn't leave much of an afternoon for play dates, trips to the park or other outings with dinner at 6pm.  So, walking around the block we do.

Kai has seriously taken to smelling the roses (and other flowers) on our route.  Every. Single. One. He. Can. Reach.  He will either smell them with his hands by his side, or he will first look at me for approval before gently cupping the flower with his hands and smelling it. 

He still has some difficulties grasping the idea that he cannot just step into the flower beds to smell the flowers, or that running onto people's properties isn't the appropriate thing to do.  The excitement he conveys once he spots yet another "fowah" [translation: flower] is just so adorable to watch.  I am lacking a better word for it at the moment. 

The little boy who - at home - is the wildest kid I have ever seen, who throws himself around, wrestles with both his dad and me at the same time, for whom play isn't fun if it doesn't fall in the category 'rough housing', holds the flowers with such care and a sense of delicacy, and takes his time smelling each and every single one of them.

These 'little' things remind me how awesome it is to be a mom to 2 boys.  They teach me to look at things from a child's point of view, and they allow me to rediscover the world around me.  Things that we take for granted and do not pay much attention to on an average day. 
Because, be honest - when was the last time you stopped in your path to take a moment and smell the roses?

25 Day Challenge - Day 24 with a "Snif Snif"

First things first: let's get the awkwardness out of the way - they lost (see, the change in pronoun here?).  They lost, we lost, however you want to phrase it, it sucks.  BIG TIME!  I am bummed out and after having changed my Facebook profile pic this morning from an actual photo into the Dutch flag, I found myself changing it back to my 'old' profile picture this afternoon.  In addition, I now have to re-do my toe nails and turn them back into a 'generic' color.  Forget about what the loss means to the Dutch soccer team, their coach and everyone else who worked their rear ends off for the Dutch team!  I have to re-do my toes!!!!  Priorities people, priorities!!

So now that I have addressed that and it's out of the way, let's return to our daily lives and business.  Oh God, I am so far behind with my writing.  I have 25 Day Challenge stuff to write, recipes to share, and an awesome recommendation to share with those who live in the LA area.

I don't know if I can get all this done in one evening, but here goes nothing.  Imah-gonna-try:

25 Day Challenge - Day 24 - Yes /No - Be Assertive
As a mother I want to please.  I think as mothers we receive that blessing at the same time we find out we are pregnant.  During our pregnancies, we want the baby to be comfortable, well-nourished, happy, etc. and we pursue this goal through a seeing our health care professionals, a well-balanced diet (okay, so maybe not all the time), some exercise (well, maybe not all the time either), making sure we get enough sleep (oops...), talking to the baby, etc.  Once the baby is born we do everything in our power to keep our lil' one content: we feed, change, rock, nurse, cuddle, hug, kiss, burp, and stroke, and this is just the beginning of a long list of things we do to pursue our child's content-ness.

Personally I have found that it is so incredibly easy to get completely wrapped up in trying to please everyone around me.  (I'm talking about mainly family members at this point, though that includes our pets.)  Now that I am a mother to two, I have come to the realization that this is an almost impossible goal to pursue.  I mean, for everyone to be content, 100% of the time.  I am on purpose not using the word 'happy' as I strongly believe that happiness is not something that is dependent on one of two events that happen on any given day.  Happiness is something bigger that is made up by much bigger elements than "can I have a piece of chocolate?".

I have found that there is tremendous power in the word 'no'.  I am not talking about the "No" that we give our toddlers so many times during the day to tell them that they are not allowed to do something, such as pulling the cat's tail, sitting on the dog, throwing rocks over the wall into the neighbor's yard, hiding the dog toy under the shed where nobody can reach it, etc.  I am referring to the 'no' that we should give a bit more often to keep ourselves from getting overwhelmed.  In our pursuit of meeting everyone's needs, we often say "yes, I'll take care of that" even though we have not the slightest idea how or when we are going to do this thing we just committed ourselves to.  Saying 'no' once in a while will allow you to actually get things done and it will allow you to look back at the end of the day and say "that was a productive day".  The other scenario is the one where you said "yes" to too many things and at the end of the day you 'only' got half of them done.  In which case (given that you are most likely exhausted) you will perceive your glass to be half empty instead of half full.

It is difficult to say "no", but it is so powerful if we can use it with honesty and respect.  I am not saying to not help your kids, to not feed them, to not care for them.  I am referring to the 'small' things that come up over the course of the day that aren't that small at all and can consume more time than you have available.  Just because your toddler gets muddy outside, doesn't mean you have to do laundry right that moment.  There are other clothes (s)he can wear.  Just because you ran out of apple juice, doesn't mean you have to rush to the grocery store right that moment. They can drink something else (like water).  Just because a friend asks you to look something up for them, doesn't mean it cannot wait until the following morning.  I hope you see what I mean.

I have realized that being able to say "no" (or "not now") once in a while and knowing when to say it, is wonderful.  If you say it with honesty and respect, you will not offend anyone.  If you feel the need to explain, do so, but most likely you won't need to as the other person will get it (unless it's a 2-year old) and be fine with it.

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Being Peace
You don't need to search for peace; you are a being of peace.  Any time, and place, you can step back from your thoughts and emotions.  Just withdraw into your inner being, a place of total peace and just be.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

My Dearest Ryder

My Dearest Ryder,

What a day it has been.  I just want to take a moment to share with you how incredibly awesome you are and how blessed I am for you having chosen me as your mommy.

The morning started out rough, I know.  No one likes to be poked by the 'evil' nurse (she's actually a real nice girl), let alone twice.  It seems very contradictory and it will be a while before you really get this, but those vaccinations...(I know this sounds sadistic) were because I love you.  No, it wasn't my intention of showing you my love by having you poked, but I am trying to keep you from getting sick.  I'd prefer a healthy happy Ryder, you know.

When we came home, we had some delicious sweet potato.  Oh, how you devoured half of that jar.  We're still only on day 2 of the sweet potato, so I didn't want to give you more than half a jar.  You practically ate the spoon!  I hope that this passion for food will remain with you your entire life, Sweetheart.  Mommy loves to cook and there is nothing better than cooking for boys who love to eat.

Then there was the nap.  It really didn't take you long at all to fall asleep and what a beautiful nap you had.  From 1-4pm.  Your brother woke up around 3, at which point he and I decided to bake cookies together.  When you're a bit older, we'll all bake cookies together.  I am sure you will absolutely love them.  (And if you don't then that's okay as well, as that means, more for Kai, papa and me.)

On our stroll around the neighborhood you were a delight.  Looking around in amazement at all the exciting things going on around you: tree trunks, squirrels running up and down them, leaves moving around on their branches in the wind, a neighbor cooing at you in amazement (because you're such a big boy), your brother running around your stroller pushing his 'auto', dogs barking from behind fences (which really didn't disturb you by the way) and cars passing.  You soaked it all in.

When we came home and mommy started cooking, you hung (literally) with papa in the Baby Bjorn.  Watching Kai run around without a diaper (he has a bit of a rash) was exciting and seeing Buster climb the slide was reason for giggles.

When mama, papa and Kai were having dinner you had enough and decided it was time for some 'splash splash' (bath time).  I understand.  Mommy was running a bit behind.  Enough reason for some complaining.  'Splash splash time' was fun as always: kicking and splashing water everywhere, oh how fun that is!  Mommy's pony tail is the object of fascination and lots of laughs, especially when it tickles you, right after the bath, when you're all toweled off and in your diaper.  You get so excited.  Enough reason for mommy to hold on to her long hair for now.  Ah, and then the massage...the bedtime lotion smells so nice and there is hardly anything else that relaxes you more than a leg and foot massage.  (Can't blame you!  I'm right there with you buddy.)

And then there was MILK.  Glorious MILK!!  Ah, the perfect ending to a perfect day.  You devoured a 'standard' 10 oz. (I honestly do not understand where you put it My Love), after which you fell asleep in my arms.  It's been a while since that happened.  For the past few weeks you squirm so much that I put you down in bed wide awake, after which you fall asleep by yourself (easily, I must say).  Well done on learning that so quickly lovey!  You mastered that in just a few days!!!  I'm proud of you.  However, tonight was different.  I think you were so exhausted from today that you just fell asleep before the thought of squirming popped up into your head.  It was lovely.

I maneuvered you in a way that your head rested on my chest.  You fit in a way that allowed me to wrap you up in my arms and have you be comfortable up against me.  As I realized what a precious moment it was, I had a hard time keeping the tears that rolled down my cheeks, from falling on your sweet, peach-fuzz covered head.  I could have stayed in that rocker with you sleeping and grunting on my chest for the entire night, but...tonight is my date night with papa, so I figured I shouldn't spend it the entire night in the nursery.  By the way, your grunting is so adorable.  I hope to some time catch it on video.

My Dearest Ryder.  I love you more than words can describe.  I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life.  To be your mommy.  To teach you, to guide you and to love you.

Thank you for picking me as your mommy.

With all my love,

Mommy

25 Day Challenge - Day 23

Abundance
I have discovered that in the blogger community (or at lease among us moms) you can find a theme for pretty much every day (e.g. Post It Note Tuesday, Wordless Wednesday, Thankful Thursday, Follow Me Friday - and I am sure there are themes for Saturday, Sunday and Monday out there as well).  If I subscribed to all these themes, I wouldn't have time left over to just blog (or 'write' or what-have-you). 

The other day I came across a wonderful post of one of the bloggers who I follow.  I am ashamed to say that I don't remember who it was, so the genius mommy who wrote this is reading this, please leave a comment so I can link to the particular post as I LOVED LOVED LOVED it.  [Edited To Add: I found her!!!!  It was A Little Cup of Comfort and I LOVE LOVE LOVE this:] It was basically turning every negative that we could possibly come across as mothers on a daily basis, something to be grateful for.  Though I had a hard time yesterday thinking of the positive behind my toddler vomiting all over himself and covering not only himself, but also the sofa with the remains of yesterday's breakfast and dinner from the night before, her post did stick with me and made a change in my perception of things.

So, allow me to hop on the gratitude wagon for a moment.  First there are the obvious, which we can all think of: my husband, my children, our health, a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs, etc.  But one stands out in particular today: my baby's incredible sweet nature:

He had his 5 month nurse's visit this morning.  At 9am, bright and early.  Well, early - yes.  Bright - not necessarily (on my part).  As we walked in to the exam room and the nurse followed us with the 2 syringes with which she was only moments away of poking my precious, sweet little boy, Ryder looked over my shoulder, locked eyes with her and gave her the biggest, most delightful smile of the day.  Trust me, she wouldn't see a bigger grin than that, given the fact that her job is to poke innocent little babies.  He melted her heart and in her words "Oh, I hate it when they do that, especially since I'll have to give him his vaccinations in a minute" (but in a "oh-you're-so-sweet"-tone, not in a bad-moody-i-don't-give-a-crap-tone). 

Then arrives the moment of terror.  The 2 shots.  First one goes in.  Ryder's eyes open wide with a look of "what the heck!?!", he starts a cry but his blankie, and a big hug from mommy distract him.  As if the first one wasn't bad enough, there comes #2.  At the moment of impact, no distraction was good enough to keep him from crying, but here's the kicker: I pick him up, he stops crying, looks over my shoulder and....gives the 'evil' nurse another-biggest-precious-filled-with-love smile that truly brings tears to my eyes.  Here we are.  Poked twice, and yet he manages to love the 2 people who put him through this ordeal with his smile.

Point of this story:  I am so grateful for this precious boy who blessed us with his arrival and who really has the sweetest nature.

Sigh....I'm in love.

To sign off, here is Ryder right after coming home from the pediatrician.  As if nothing ever happened:

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Yes / No - Be Assertive
Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings honestly and respectfully without undue anxiety.  Communicating confidently does not happen magically but when you do it, it gives you the freedom to be yourself.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

25 Day Challenge - Day 17 & 18

One of the good things about this 25 Day Challenge is the fact that it puts you in a place to write every day.  A bad things about it is that it forces you to write every day.  Even when you're short on time.  And I was yesterday.  So: I didn't write.  I don't know how many (if any) people are following me on this challenge, but if there are, I apologize.

Let me start out by re-capping yesterday:

Positive Self Talk
Several people whose blogs I follow have written about this already, but as a mom it is as if you have a life-time subscription to the highest (and scariest) roller coaster ride you can think of: there are days when everything goes smoothly and being a mom is just the best thing ever.  Kids are in good moods, they eat, they play, they are happy, they make you laugh, if you're lucky you get some things done around the house, etc.  You know, the days that we need more of.  Right.  Those.  Then there are the days that cannot go by quick enough.  The days that seem like the drag on, during which you are faced with frustration, lots of crying, and at the end of the day (and most of the time during the day), you wonder why there doesn't seem to be anything that you can do right. It leaves us feeling inadequate, vulnerable and lost.  While the baby is crying, the toddler is whining, the dog is barking, the cat is fussing you feel like you're responsible for everyone's happiness.  And you're failing.  Or so it feels.

It is days like those, during which it is so easy to talk ourselves down.  "I don't seem to be doing anything right today" or "Why can't I make you stop whining / crying / barking / fussing / etc?"  And this is only the beginning of the downward spiral, which brings our mood down even further and faster if we indeed embark on it.  

It is at moments like that, that I have learned that sometimes Mommy needs a time out.  Just to get away from it all.  For just a few minutes.  To catch my breath, to remind myself that I am doing a great job and that this is just 'one of those days'.

I guess the point that I am trying to make is that sometimes we just need that affirmation.  Just the reminder that we are doing a good job. On those days, it is good to just take a moment and remind ourselves that we are.  Remember the nights that you rocked your baby to sleep.  The twinkle you'll see in their eyes when they are in a 'happy place', the smiles that they give you (on other days in this case).  The hugs.  The kisses.  The dances and the excited squeals when you come home after not having seen them for a while.  All those are our kids' ways of communicating that they love us.  That they are happy.  And that you are doing an excellent job as a mother.  I try to remind myself of these things when I go through a rough day.  And it's definitely difficult, especially when I am exhausted, tired and feel as I am drained from all resourcefulness I had before.  Yes, it's hard and it'd be handy if the hubby was around to tell you that you're an awesome mom regardless.  Unfortunately those moments often occur when the hubby is not around.  So when that happens, take a moment and remind yourself of the awesome mom you are.  'Cause you are.

Today's Challenge:


Beat Tiredness
Being tired isn't just about doing too much; it's also about being devoid of motivation.  Beat tiredness and work up your motivation to get things done and make things happen with spirit and gusto.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

For myself I strongly noticed that when I start doing something that I am excited about, it gets done with energy, motivation and excitement.  I enjoy the process of it, it doesn't tire me out (no matter how long it takes) and I get a kick when it's all done.  I am going to revamp my blog site a bit and I am excited about it.  The to-do list is made and I can't wait to see the final result.  If it takes longer than I anticipate it to take, that's okay.  It's something I am excited about.

At the same time, I remember how I dreaded doing my taxes.  I put it off, I put it off and this year again, our account filed for an extension.  Then I decided to change something.  I hated doing my taxes.  That was a fact, yet they had to be done.  So, I set the timer and chopped up the work in portions.  I worked for an hour and rewarded myself after an hour of focusing down and getting things done by doing something I enjoyed doing.  I scheduled the time in advance and knew that Monday night from 8:30-9:30 I was doing my taxes.  I closed my email program, so I wouldn't get distracted by incoming mail and knew that in an hour the timer would go off.  With an end in sight, it made that hour a lot more do-able.  Add to that the reward that awaited me at 9:31 and I actually got excited.  It became a game to see how much I could get done in that hour.  I did this several times over the course of a week and by the end of the week my taxes were done.  


Motivation is a big part of getting things done.  If you can find ways to motivate yourself, you'll be surprised how much you can get done (and how fast you can do it).


Tomorrow's Challenge:


Knowing When Not To:
Action is important but so is inaction.  To act appropriately and with consideration, you have to use your power of discernment.  Knowing when to and when not to: say something; dig your heels in; hold your ground; or make a decision!


Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

Impeccable Timing

Until recently I thought that Kai would be one of those kids who would never, ever potty train.  I am still not convinced that he will before he goes to college, but I think at some point in his life he actually might.  'They' (whoever 'they' means) always talk about the signs that your toddler displays when they are ready to potty train.  Well, Kai doesn't show any of those and given his incredible stubborn-ness, I wonder if he ever will.  By the way, I have NO idea where he got that stubborn-ness from....probably dad....uhum....[blush]

So, if he's not showing any signs, then there's gotta be other ways to get him to move toward saving mommy some diaper $$, right?  Right!  I call it Bribery!!  And I am 100% in favor of it.  Big thumbs up on conditional parenting in that respect (I just read the book 'Unconditional Parenting' - can you tell?).

The Deal: he tells us that he did a poo-poo (before we smell it and tell him we need to change his diaper) and he gets 5 chocolate chips.  It's a steep price to pay, I know, but I hope it's worth it.  

He is totally getting the chocolate chip reward and contrary to some other 'rules' in the house, he seems to be capable of remembering this one very well.  Fascinating.  Lately however, his timing in telling me has been impeccable:  I call out that dinner is served and everyone needs to come in to wash their hands.  He comes running up to me and proudly announces: "Mommy!!  Kai poo-poo" to which mommy only has to bend over oh, about an inch to get a whiff of confirmation that indeed, Mr. did a poo-poo.  Let me repeat: dinner was served.  Sigh...  This has happened several days now.  Enough to make me call out that dinner is ready 10 minutes early.  That way I don't have to reheat everything in the microwave.

Today, just as I had sat down to nurse Ryder: Kai comes running in and announces full of excitement: "Kai poo-poo!!!  Chocolate please!!"  I mean, does he on purpose wait for the most inconvenient moment to tell me?  Whazzup with that?!

At the end of the day, I am happy that he seems to be getting it.  Now, if he could tell me right after he does it and before he smushes it around by plopping down on the ground, that would be lovely.

25 Day Challenge - Day 13

Add Fun To Your Life
I'm half way there!  To adding fun to my life?  Noooo!!  I'm half way through my challenge!!  Yahoo!!  Do I feel like a better person at this point?  No, but at least I am having fun playing around with the different challenges.  Icing on the cake is that they are teaching me something.

As did today's challenge:  I was that woman at the grocery store...  You know, the one with the crying baby.  The one who people look at and wonder: why is she letting her poor baby cry?  Why does it not bother her?

Well, people, for the record: I DON'T LET MY BABY CRY.  To those people: you obviously have never dealt with babies, but lemme enlighten ya: sometimes, you know,.....they cry!  Yes, that's right!  Sometimes they cry!  There are times that there is a reason for the spilling of tears, and believe it or not, sometimes there ain't (a reason).  I will do my best to soothe him, but hey, sometimes I can soothe all I want, but if the reason for his crying is out of my control, then crying he does.

Secondly, it does bother me.  Do you think I like the sound of my baby crying?  No!  Especially when I'm wearing him on my chest.  That kid has some lungs, and he's LOUD!!  It makes me almost need to have a stash of Tylenol ready as he sometimes successfully manages to give me a headache.  Of course it bothers me when my baby is crying. But sometimes there isn't much that I can do about it.  And that was today.


Again, we woke up at 5am.  (I now get what 'sleep regression' means, but really, I would have been just as happy not knowing.)  By the time we got to the store, that made for a tired baby.  And what do babies do when they are tired?  You got it!  They cry!!  And guess what?  There ain't much I can do about that while I am waiting in the check out line.  


This morning I was ready to have fun today.  To turn what I usually would describe as the much-dreaded-grocery-shopping-chore into an excursion with my boys.  Different way of approach, yet still getting my fridge re-loaded.  Kai was loving it.  Anytime he gets to ride in the 'soppin caht' [shopping cart] he gets that grin on his face. Even more fun is pummeling the items I give him to "gently put in the cart" down in the basket...(obviously I don't give him the eggs).  Then, at the check out there always is the request for "stickies please" and then, the most exciting thing: waving and saying "BYE!!!" to everyone who wants to hear it (and even to those who don't).  


As you may have gotten by now, Ryder wasn't having it so much this morning.  Oh well, we can't always have it our way.  To those people who wished I wasn't there this morning: TOO BAD!  Suck it up, 'cause I was there!  Bring your earplugs the next time you go grocery shopping.  Me being bothered by my kid crying is not going to soothe him.


In light of my challenge, I decided not to let the situation get to me.  And guess what: we hadn't made it to the car or he was asleep.  He had a delightful nap in the 6 minutes (yes, that's right) it took us to get home and was the happiest, giggling-over-everything, bright-eyed, delicious, chubby, gerber-baby you could possibly imagine until the moment I told him that it was time to take a nap.  Oops...bad mommy.  How dare I put my kids down for a nap?  Actually, it wasn't much appreciated by either one of them.  Oh well, life is tough being a baby and/or toddler.  Darn, I wish that someone came over to me and said "time to go nite-nite".  Yeah, that would bring me to tears too.  Tears of HAPPINESS that is!


So, was I really having 'fun' in that check out line this morning?  No, not particularly.  But it didn't get to me either.  And it would have been very easy to have gotten bothered or stressed out.  Having fun and enjoying the 'little' challenges that my kids throw me today allow me to go with the flow a bit more.  I think it makes for a more relaxed mommy.  Now, if I could only remind myself of these wise words around 5pm...:-0


Tomorrow's Challenge:


Will Power
If you believe 'you can' and have the strong desire to do so, then despite setbacks, it's your will power that makes you 'try, try, try again'.  Both 'will' and 'power' are released when you go from 'will do' to 'doing things willingly'.


Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

It Was Not That Morning

There are mornings that you wake up, realize you actually got a good night's sleep and you're ready for the day.  Though for many of us these mornings are rare, I do love them.  This morning was certainly NOT one of them.  Yes, I said NOT.  Those mornings don't start at 5am.  Mine did.  Those mornings I wake up before the kids do.  This morning I did not.  Those mornings start in quiet.  This morning did not.  Those mornings I feel fresh and awake.  This morning I did not.

After 2 birthday parties, bouncy castles, running around, lots of crap food, and tons of excitement, Kai slept well and did a perfect job attempting to make it one of those mornings for me.  Ryder didn't get the memo and was awake at 5am.  You'd think that being out and about, getting tons of attention and stimulation, fresh air and all other things that make babies tired, he'd sleep longer.  Nope.  Did not happen.  This morning was definitely NOT one of those mornings.

Also, I marvel at the tremendous amount of clutter that was laying around in my house.  The double stroller was functioning as laundry basket with several loads of clean, unfolded laundry piled on it. (At least it was clean!)  The living room mirrored the image of an exploded toy store and our bedroom was filled with a wide variety of items that belonged elsewhere, such as the kids' rooms, the bathroom, the closet, and so on.  So much for a relaxing sanctuary.

I needed my sanity back! (Translation: it's cleaning time).


I hate tidying, yet the result is always nice and soothing.  But, in the process I always wonder: where the heck did all this junk come from?  Who bought this?  Oh wait, I did.  Why did I buy this?  Oh yeah, for the kids.  Sometimes it seems as if the toys multiply over night.  Laundry seems to do the same.  Can it do that?  'Cause it seriously looks like it can.  Oh wait, I live with 3 guys.  Right.  That explains.  Yes it does, because let's face it, it's not my laundry!  Well, maybe a few items.  


Then there is the magical coffee cup that appears every morning on my kitchen counter.  It truly is like magic, given that I DON'T DRINK COFFEE!!!  My beloved husband on the other hand does.  Without his go-water he is nothing.  Absolutely lost in space, no sense of direction (literally and figuratively speaking) and completely incapable of being productive.  So, coffee is his morning ritual.  That's wonderful, after all, we all have our 'must haves' right?  Going back to the cup.  So, here's how it (the cup) works: one fills it with the brown liquid, adds a splash of half 'n half, and puts it to their lips.  The coffee gets ingested and starts doing its job.  (Or so you would think.)  Occasionally, once the cup is empty, it gets refilled, but eventually it always ends up (mostly) empty...on the kitchen counter (or in the sink).  Right above the dishwasher.  Not in the dishwasher, but right above it.  On the counter.  (Sometimes it ends up on the counter in the bathroom.  Result: a bathroom reeking like coffee.  Ugh!)  Doesn't that stuff work?  Maybe it's old.  Maybe I should buy some super-duper-kick-in-the-butt coffee that I am blatantly unaware of.  Would that work better? 


Come to think of it, the mystery of the magical coffee cup, very much resembles the mystery of the magical socks that always end up next to the bed and then slowly migrate under the bed.  (Mind you: I wear flip flops).  I really don't want to go into painting a picture, so I am going to refrain from explaining this one, but with a little bit of imagination you can figure out where I would have gone if I were to continue at this point.

At this point, my laundry is done, folded, (almost all) put away, cup is in the dishwasher, kids are about to wake up from their nap and I need to start cooking dinner (that is, if anyone wants to eat tonight).


Can I just say that I look forward to having one of "those mornings".  They are beautiful and productive.  I need one.