My Dearest Ryder

My Dearest Ryder,

What a day it has been.  I just want to take a moment to share with you how incredibly awesome you are and how blessed I am for you having chosen me as your mommy.

The morning started out rough, I know.  No one likes to be poked by the 'evil' nurse (she's actually a real nice girl), let alone twice.  It seems very contradictory and it will be a while before you really get this, but those vaccinations...(I know this sounds sadistic) were because I love you.  No, it wasn't my intention of showing you my love by having you poked, but I am trying to keep you from getting sick.  I'd prefer a healthy happy Ryder, you know.

When we came home, we had some delicious sweet potato.  Oh, how you devoured half of that jar.  We're still only on day 2 of the sweet potato, so I didn't want to give you more than half a jar.  You practically ate the spoon!  I hope that this passion for food will remain with you your entire life, Sweetheart.  Mommy loves to cook and there is nothing better than cooking for boys who love to eat.

Then there was the nap.  It really didn't take you long at all to fall asleep and what a beautiful nap you had.  From 1-4pm.  Your brother woke up around 3, at which point he and I decided to bake cookies together.  When you're a bit older, we'll all bake cookies together.  I am sure you will absolutely love them.  (And if you don't then that's okay as well, as that means, more for Kai, papa and me.)

On our stroll around the neighborhood you were a delight.  Looking around in amazement at all the exciting things going on around you: tree trunks, squirrels running up and down them, leaves moving around on their branches in the wind, a neighbor cooing at you in amazement (because you're such a big boy), your brother running around your stroller pushing his 'auto', dogs barking from behind fences (which really didn't disturb you by the way) and cars passing.  You soaked it all in.

When we came home and mommy started cooking, you hung (literally) with papa in the Baby Bjorn.  Watching Kai run around without a diaper (he has a bit of a rash) was exciting and seeing Buster climb the slide was reason for giggles.

When mama, papa and Kai were having dinner you had enough and decided it was time for some 'splash splash' (bath time).  I understand.  Mommy was running a bit behind.  Enough reason for some complaining.  'Splash splash time' was fun as always: kicking and splashing water everywhere, oh how fun that is!  Mommy's pony tail is the object of fascination and lots of laughs, especially when it tickles you, right after the bath, when you're all toweled off and in your diaper.  You get so excited.  Enough reason for mommy to hold on to her long hair for now.  Ah, and then the massage...the bedtime lotion smells so nice and there is hardly anything else that relaxes you more than a leg and foot massage.  (Can't blame you!  I'm right there with you buddy.)

And then there was MILK.  Glorious MILK!!  Ah, the perfect ending to a perfect day.  You devoured a 'standard' 10 oz. (I honestly do not understand where you put it My Love), after which you fell asleep in my arms.  It's been a while since that happened.  For the past few weeks you squirm so much that I put you down in bed wide awake, after which you fall asleep by yourself (easily, I must say).  Well done on learning that so quickly lovey!  You mastered that in just a few days!!!  I'm proud of you.  However, tonight was different.  I think you were so exhausted from today that you just fell asleep before the thought of squirming popped up into your head.  It was lovely.

I maneuvered you in a way that your head rested on my chest.  You fit in a way that allowed me to wrap you up in my arms and have you be comfortable up against me.  As I realized what a precious moment it was, I had a hard time keeping the tears that rolled down my cheeks, from falling on your sweet, peach-fuzz covered head.  I could have stayed in that rocker with you sleeping and grunting on my chest for the entire night, but...tonight is my date night with papa, so I figured I shouldn't spend it the entire night in the nursery.  By the way, your grunting is so adorable.  I hope to some time catch it on video.

My Dearest Ryder.  I love you more than words can describe.  I cannot tell you how blessed I am to have you in my life.  To be your mommy.  To teach you, to guide you and to love you.

Thank you for picking me as your mommy.

With all my love,

Mommy

25 Day Challenge - Day 22

It may sound arrogant, but I'm stuck on today's challenge (well, kinda): the challenge for today is to take 10 minutes to reflect on any mistakes made over the week and to ask myself: What did I learn?  What will I do differently and better as a result of what I know?

Provided it's only Hump Day and there are still several days ahead of me this week, I have a hard time coming up with any mistakes made this week.  Having said that though, the 'think' part of the challenge is something that is worth looking at:

"I am able to learn something useful from every situation."
With Kai sick yesterday and with the semi-finals of the World Cup Soccer, I felt as if the day passed by without me noticing.  At the end of the day I was still wearing my lounge pants, hadn't brushed my teeth yet and hadn't even combed my hair.  I felt like an absolute slob who hadn't gotten anything done.

I shared my frustration with David over dinner and he reminded me that sometimes it's okay to have a day like that.  Afterall, the Netherlands had won the semi-finals and with that placed itself in the Finals for Sunday.  I did get my laundry folded:




But most importantly, I cared for my sick toddler who really needed a dose of mommy-love.  He was so right and that, my friends, is one of the biggest lessons I learned over the past few days: sometimes it's okay to cuddle up with your baby and watch movies the entire day (although I am soooo trough with Thomas, Finding Nemo and Cars).  Sometimes that's the best thing you can do for a day.  The bottom line: every situation provides us with an opportunity to learn.  It's not easy to always remember, but worth the try.

Tomorrow's challenge:

Abundance
Abundance is to see that there are endless possibilities before us.  And at the same time, still see an incredibly rich existence right where we are.  It is a feeling of gratitude for everything and everyone we have in our life.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

25 Day Challenge - Day 14

Will Power
When Kai was about 6 months old he and I enrolled in a mommy-and-me class at a local community college.  There is one 'class' that I remember vividly.  (I say 'class' as they really weren't classes, but merely a chance for the kids to play with other toys and other kids while mommy was around).  


Kai is focused on the tunnel that he can crawl through and does so with great enthusiasm.  All of a sudden he stops and his eyes lock in on a phone and cable outlet in the wall - the only 2 that weren't covered with outlet covers for child protection (given that covers for these type of outlets don't exist).  Completely fixated on the outlets, he abandons the tunnel and heads over to the wall.


I get where he's going, tell him that these are no toys and pick him up to place him back in front of 'his' tunnel.  Only for him to turn around 180 degrees and to resume his mission that was so abruptly aborted my his mother.  He and I play this game a few times back and forth, with me putting returning him to the play mat, but every in a spot that is further and further removed from the darn outlets.  Finally, the winner distraction: food.


After 10 minutes filled with a snack and milk he is enough distracted and continues to play with the toys at hand.  Mommy, happy that the outlets seem to have been erased from the cognitive part of his brain, sits down to 'relax'.  NOT!!  Kai spotted them once again and was headed in their direction, looking occasionally over his shoulder to see if Mommy was going to catch him.  Yes she was.  And yes she did.  


This game finally ended when class was over.  All I can say is: the kid has will power.  When he has in his mind that he "can and he will", he will.  At times tough for mommy, but I hope in the end it will work out in his advantage (unless mommy doesn't want it to).

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Patience:
Patience is your willingness to let time and life move forward at their own pace, without losing sight of your destination.  When there's no rush, no hurry, out goes anxiety, in comes peace of mind.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

Impeccable Timing

Until recently I thought that Kai would be one of those kids who would never, ever potty train.  I am still not convinced that he will before he goes to college, but I think at some point in his life he actually might.  'They' (whoever 'they' means) always talk about the signs that your toddler displays when they are ready to potty train.  Well, Kai doesn't show any of those and given his incredible stubborn-ness, I wonder if he ever will.  By the way, I have NO idea where he got that stubborn-ness from....probably dad....uhum....[blush]

So, if he's not showing any signs, then there's gotta be other ways to get him to move toward saving mommy some diaper $$, right?  Right!  I call it Bribery!!  And I am 100% in favor of it.  Big thumbs up on conditional parenting in that respect (I just read the book 'Unconditional Parenting' - can you tell?).

The Deal: he tells us that he did a poo-poo (before we smell it and tell him we need to change his diaper) and he gets 5 chocolate chips.  It's a steep price to pay, I know, but I hope it's worth it.  

He is totally getting the chocolate chip reward and contrary to some other 'rules' in the house, he seems to be capable of remembering this one very well.  Fascinating.  Lately however, his timing in telling me has been impeccable:  I call out that dinner is served and everyone needs to come in to wash their hands.  He comes running up to me and proudly announces: "Mommy!!  Kai poo-poo" to which mommy only has to bend over oh, about an inch to get a whiff of confirmation that indeed, Mr. did a poo-poo.  Let me repeat: dinner was served.  Sigh...  This has happened several days now.  Enough to make me call out that dinner is ready 10 minutes early.  That way I don't have to reheat everything in the microwave.

Today, just as I had sat down to nurse Ryder: Kai comes running in and announces full of excitement: "Kai poo-poo!!!  Chocolate please!!"  I mean, does he on purpose wait for the most inconvenient moment to tell me?  Whazzup with that?!

At the end of the day, I am happy that he seems to be getting it.  Now, if he could tell me right after he does it and before he smushes it around by plopping down on the ground, that would be lovely.

Oh my goodness, we have a parrot!

Both the boys' bedtimes are around the same time, so most of the time (whenever possible) bedtime consists of 2 similar routines, executed independently from each other, by both parents.  I cannot wait for Ryder to be strong enough to be able to sit and weather.  'Sit' as in 'sitting' as he's not there yet.  'Weather' as in 'being tough enough to deal with Kai's testosterone explosions excitement in the bath.  Kai loves his bath time.  


Both boys are pretty set in their routines now and over time, daddy and Kai have started the routine of recycling the bath water.  When the diaper is on, they scoop the water out of the tub with a pitcher, which Kai then carries outside to water the 'baby tree' outside.  Actually, Kai doesn't carry it, daddy does, as Kai is only in diaper and is not wearing any shoes.


After watering 'Kai's' baby tree last night, David and Kai return to the front door, only to realize that they had locked themselves out.  Just painting the image here: David with Kai (39 lbs. and barefoot) on his arm, pitcher in his other hand, wrestling to somehow fish the keys out of his pocket.  In a rush of frustration David mumbles: "Crap".  And there he (Kai) went: "Crap papa!"  Realizing what he had just done, David ignores it.  "Crap papa! Crap!"  Oh no!! "Crap"  That went on for a few minutes, but got boring real quick, so Kai moved on.


On my way back from the grocery store, I was stuck behind one of those people who cannot drive.  'Cause of course, I am an excellent driver.  Always.  Uhum...  Anyways, left turn at a traffic light.  I am the 2nd car in line.  The #1 car: that driver obviously was waiting for a written invitation to turn left.  Good grief!!!  Luckily I was able to refrain from saying anything I would later regret (though I was definitely thinking it), but for the remainder of the drive home all I heard from the back seat was "Com'on!!! GOOOO!!"  


Oh my goodness, I have a parrot in the house.  It's very funny, I have to admit, though sometimes I really, really have to bite my tongue.  For the sake of...well, I guess everyone.

25 Day Challenge - Day 4

From Expectations to Acceptance
"Let go of your expectations."  "Go with the flow."  "Just accept what is."
The number of times that I have told myself one of these things over the past 2 1/2 years in my role as a mother exceeds anyone's ability to count.  As a type A personality, I like things to happen when they're supposed to happen and to be where they're supposed to be.  Anal?  No.  OCD?  No, it's not that extreme, but definitely a strong type A.

Add to that a husband with a strong will, 2 strong-willed Australian Shepherds, an incredibly strong-willed cat and, last but not least, 2 boys.  Result: mommy sometimes is about to lose it (and occasionally does).  House is never clean anymore, the laundry hamper is never empty, there are always muddy prints (dog, cat, or human) somewhere and it's becoming a challenge to keep an eye out for everyone.  Is my house out of control?  No, I'm not saying that, but my type A personality would prefer a bit more of it (control that is) at times.

A lot of these things have caused a certain amount of stress for me.  Things never go exactly the way that I want them to go.  Things are never all in the place that they are supposed to be.  But...I think I am at times (not always) pretty capable of remembering one of the phrases from above.  And it helps.  If I let go of my expectations, if I let go of how I think things (or humans for that matter) should be, then they won't cause me to get stressed when they're not.  And trust me, they often 'are not'.  

Me stressing about the fact that Kai doesn't always tell me that he has done a poo-poo, doesn't make him tell me.  If anything, it might cause the opposite.  It still bothers me when he smushes the content of his diaper all over the place by plopping down on the ground, but me stressing about it and getting upset that he did that (not on purpose), is not going to change anything.  I still have to clean the smelly mess that is now about to squirt out of his nappie.  Ah, the joys of motherhood.

The past few years of being a mother have taught me a lot, but one of the things is that babies and toddlers behave the way they do.  Yes, for a big part I can influence their behavior, but at the end of the day, me stressing about it and being of the opinion that he really should be eating more of his dinner, isn't going to make him (or at least not peacefully).  Motherhood is making choices, picking your battles.  And sometimes it's just better to move from having expectations, to accepting what is.  For the sake of peace in the house, trust from my boys, and mommy's sanity.

On that note of wisdom, I am signing off to get ready for a little get together with friends.  Some BBQ, some Margarita's, some lounging outside.  You get the idea.

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Day 5: Fear Nothing
You already have the courage to "Face, Explore, Accept and Respond" to fear.  All you have to do is move beyond inertia and discover your true potential.  Then, courage will enable you to take action in spite of fear.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

Hallelujah!!

I have no idea of this was the result of yesterday afternoon's low, or what, but Ryder not only slept through the night for the first time (without any interruptions), but he also slept for nearly 13 hours!!!  HAAAAALLELUJAHHHHHH!!!!!!


At 5am I woke up, terrified, since I hadn't heard him at all.  I don't even want to think about all the things that went through my mind, much less write them down, but use your imagination.  Thank heavens for the video monitor I have.  With one click on the button, I could see that he had (of course) flipped himself on his tummy and that his breathing was moving his torso up and down in a calm and peaceful manner.  Phew.  What a relief.  I turned over and fell back into a sleep that was deeper than any sleep I have had in the past year.  Absolutely heavenly.


Now I am left wondering: was this a coincidence, a mere consequence of having worn himself out yesterday afternoon, or...could it possibly be the result of the cautious sleep training that we started on Wednesday?  I don't know, but I hope to find out soon.  If anything, it was a beautiful early-birthday gift.  Yes, I will be turning a year older on Wednesday, but I will still very much be the thirty-something mom that I am now.

A Dose of Mothering Reality

Let’s face it.  We all think our own kids are cutest, sweetest, loveliest, whatever-est.  I am right there with you.  However, in my house there are moments days where I don’t really subscribe to that conviction.  I have read blogs of mothers whose kids seem to always be a little angel.  Always well-behaved, always charming, never fussy, in other words: always perfect.  Right.  Don’t think so.  Those kids don’t exist, but for some of us that might be difficult to admit (it was for me... ;-)  Face it, we’re talking ‘kids’ here.  They are humans, just like us and therefore have off-days.  However, us moms don’t always want to share that on our blog for oh, the entire world to see.  Well, here I am.  I am going out on a limb here for the entire world to read that: we had an off-day!!!  Now, if the entire world would be so kind to become a follower of my blog, that would make this confession a lot sweeter – go ahead, just click on “Follow” button in the right column.

The morning was fine, as per my previous post.  That moment of silence that I mentioned in the last part...yeah, 't didn’t last long.  Kids woke up and Ryder spent pretty much from 3 - 7:30 going anywhere from fussing to screaming.  I swear, I have no idea what was up, but I can tell you that I had the hardest time those 4-1/2 hours.  Those were one of the longest 4-1/2 hours of my life.  I kid you not!  I tried everything: changing diaper, changing position, different toy, he sat in the bouncy, the swing, the exersaucer, the bumbo seat, I wore him in the carrier, I carried him on my arm (mind you: he is a 18 lbs. 10 oz. 4-month old - by now I challenge anyone for an arm wrestling match.  I'll win – I betcha!), indoor, outdoor, you name it, I tried it.  And nothing worked.  I soo desperately wanted to leave the house to just for 5 minutes not hear him cry.  But that wasn’t an option, given that Kai is not at the age to babysit his baby brother and the dogs may be smart, but not that smart.

I found myself thinking earlier “Oh my goodness, what I would give for a good cocktail right now”.  Small detail: that was before bathing time, so that wasn’t gonna happen either, given the fact that I was flying solo today with David out.  I still wonder what was up with Ry, but the poor kid wore himself out so badly that he fell asleep hanging over my shoulder while I was burping him.  Go figure.  He is out – thank heavens.  Kai is in his room, probably still playing, but the peace and quiet has returned to our home.  Pure bliss.

I am off to sit and watch some mindless entertainment TV and instead of the cocktail, I am going to enjoy a cuppa tea and a chocolate chip cookie (well, maybe a few.  Heck I deserved them!)  On that note, I am signing off.

Cheers.

The Day After Night 2

Last night went so much better than the previous.  Ryder only woke up once, though his excitement about his new found activity-of-choice (rolling over) combined with a very, very wet diaper, made for a diaper & outfit change and an hour of soothing and trying to keep him calm enough, to allow him to fall back asleep again.  He finally did, but I have to say that nights and nights of interrupted sleep are starting to catch up with me.  I was exhausted this morning.  Why is it that I am more tired when I wake up in the morning then in the afternoon, or even in the evening when I have hours of activities behind me?

As predicted, yesterday's cake didn't last long.  I think there's about a quarter left - that will be gone before the day is over.

Overall, this is turning out to be a rather productive day: laundry is in the dryer, I ran some errands this morning in preparation for Father's Day (can't go into detail as my DH occasionally checks out my blog), am about to make dog food (yes, we partially make it ourselves), and cookies are baked (and my house smells like fresh cookies...WONDERFUL!!!)  These are by far the best (and possibly healthiest) oatmeal chocolate chip cookies you will ever have.  I know, I know.  My perspective of what is 'healthy' might be a bit cloudy, but as far as chocolate chip cookies are concerned, these are pretty....uhum...healthy.

Best Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies:

1 cup butter

1 cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

2 tbsp. flaxseed meal

4 tbsp. water

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla extract

2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

2 tbsp. Brewer's yeast (be generous)

3 cups oats (thick cut is better)

2 cups chocolate chips (or raisins for oatmeal raisin cookies)

Preheat oven to 375.  Mix together flaxseed meal and water and set aside for 3-5 minutes.  Cream the butter, sugar and brown sugar.  Add eggs one at a time.  Stir flaxseed mixture and add with vanilla to butter mixture.

Beat until blended.  Sift the dry ingredients together, except the oats and choc. chips.  Add to the butter mixture, mix until blended.  Stir in the oats, then the choc. chips.  Scoop onto a baking sheet and bake 8-14 minutes.  (Baking time depends on the size of cookies you're making).

Enjoy :-)

Kai is yet again in an awesome mood.  He's all about kisses and hugs.  As I loosened the straps from his car seat this morning when we got back from running errands, he said "Mommy kiss" and wrapped both his arms around me neck, pulled me towards him and gave me the biggest smooch ever.  Ah, I love toddler kisses.

Ryder is doing very well I must say, without his paci.  I thought it would be a lot harder during the day, but I guess I assumed he needed it more than he actually did.  Falling asleep is going pretty well as well.  Okay, so maybe except this morning.  Unfortunately I am still looking for a comfortable way to cuddle with him before putting him down.  That used to be the time that he always got his paci, so I think there is still that association.  I put him down completely awake now and usually only have to go in once or twice to soothe a bit before he falls asleep.  Yippee!!  We're making progress. Here's hoping for a yet even better night.  Oh, how I long to sleep through the night again...

And So The Challenge Starts...

It started last night: I was up from 2-6am going back and forth from my comfy, much desired bed to Ryder's room.  Why?  The paci!!  The darn, darn paci!!  To simply 'pop' it back in to that little mouth that was desperately needing it - or so it thought.  It was a great invention when he was younger, it soothes him instantly, but this...this was just getting too much.  No, I am  not kidding; back and forth, pretty much every 10-15 minutes.  

I know there are others out there who can relate, but let me guess: you're all moms.  Don't think there are many dads among you...why?  Because dad's just sleep through it all!!  Or at least, that's the case in our house.  While sleep was a concept that I could only dream of (I know, I had to go there), my Dearly Beloved slept through the whole night (although he did come home late from work).  Nevertheless, I was blown away when he asked me this morning "How did you sleep Babe?"  What?  Sleep?  Whazz that? Who are you talking to?  Is there someone else in this room, because you sure couldn't be serious asking me that question.  Really, Com'on!!  So, long story short: sleep didn't happen for me last night.

Ryder had his 4-month check up with the pediatrician this morning - the perfect opportunity to get her feedback and advice on the matter.  The bottom line: given that he has his blankie that he is getting attached to and the fact that he is too young to have the cognitive ability to really miss an item, he can be weaned off the paci.  Shepointed out that he "may miss something to suck on", but also in that respect is he covered as he is more and more starting to suck on his fingers.  

So, this afternoon, I took the leap and got him to fall asleep without a paci.  After an hour of some fussing, some crying and a lot of soothing, he fell asleep and slept until 4pm, when I woke him up.  The rest of the afternoon unfolded without any problems.  Tonight, he was soo tired that he fell asleep while eating, so the paci-matter didn't even surface.  Here's to a good night.  Fingers crossed.  Hey, anything better than being up from 2-6 is improvement at this point.

Other than that, the well-visit proved that Ryder is a bundle of thriving boy.  With his 18 lbs. 10 oz. and 27" in length, he is in the 97th percentile for both weight and height.  Yep, he's a bruiser.  We expect him to start rolling over any day now.  Last night (and this may have had something to do with his interrupted sleep) he started to 'almost roll over', by rolling onto his side.  As soon as he rolls over, one way or another, we have the green light to start him on solids.  Kai started solids at exactly 6 months of age, but given Ryder's size we can start earlier.  Ah, the home made baby foods...I remember them vividly.  Let's pull out the stick blender and let's get pureeing!!  Yeehaw!!

The rest of the day, was spent cleaning up after everyone and feeding everyone.  Why is it that I often feel as if that is the only thing I do?  Oh wait, 'cause it is.  Yeah, I forgot.  Right.  3 boys, 2 male dogs, and a cat...now I remember.

So, yesterday I came across a banner ad for this amazing product.  Mommies and daddies, listen up: the Temporary Safety Tattoos for kids.  Sheer genius, let me tell you!!!  We've all been there: taking our lil' ones out on a day trip to either the zoo, an amusement park, or where ever else there is fun and thus many, many people.  I think I can say for certain that one of a parent's biggest fears is losing their kids on a day like that.  I can't even think about it - it would almost make me want to stay at home.  Almost.  I said "Almost".  So, here's the solution: The Temporary Safety Tattoo.  It's a temporary tattoo (well-observed) that stays on for a few days on which you can write down your phone # in case you and your little munchkin get separated.  They also offer ones that communicate other important matters, such as autism and allergies.  

No, I wasn't asked to write anything about the product, but I just think it is a genius idea.  So simple, yet so incredibly valuable to us parents.  

For anyone interested in the tats, please do me a favor and get them by clicking through the banner to the left here, on my blog.  I got so excited about the product that I signed up to be an affiliate.  In other words: you buy through the banner on my blog --> this mommy makes a little bit of $$ $, but hey, every little bit helps right?  Thanks in advance.

Well, my dearest readers.  It is time for this mommy to get some zzzzz's.  It is past my bedtime and after last night, I really need some sweet dreams tonight.  

Signing off now.  Nite Nite.

Sweetness

The Christmas after we bought our house, we adopted our tortoiseshell kitty Chaplin. 

 

Our neighbors wondered why we got a cat and didn’t opt for having children first (which is traditional in their culture), but we explained that this was our way of getting used to caring for other living creatures in the house besides ourselves.  Mind you, I cannot for the life of me (pardon the pun) keep a plant alive, so adopting a cat was already a big responsibility.  We were so excited that we shared the news with our friends and family as soon as we had brought Chaplin home.  The title of our email: “our family is expanding”.  A little later we talked to my in-laws and I vividly remember the excitement of my godmother-in-law (who is Persian), which sounded something along the line of: “Ooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!  You are pregnaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!  I am soooooooooo happyyyyyyyyyy to hear that!  That is soooooooo wonderfullllllll!!”  Oh god, she really thought I was pregnant...oops...  So we explained: “No, we’re not pregnant.  We adopted a cat!”  ... [silence] ... My Godmother-in-law: “You what?...[silence].... Oh. You. Adopted. A. Cat....[silence]....oh”  There they went.  Her dreams came crashing down, they shattered into a gezillion pieces.  Right in front of us (actually, about 1100 miles away).

Then came my birthday in June ‘05 at which point our family, yet again, expanded.  This time with my birthday present: an adopted Australian Shepherd puppy (Buster).

Chaplin was not AT ALL grooving on this gesture of love from David.  “What the heck was that human thinking!?!?!  How dare he bring in another 4-legged creature!!  And was that anyways?  It’s loud, wild, doesn’t have any matters and pees and poops everywhere.  Yuck!!  The indignity!!”  But, the most pressing matter of concern: “When does it leave?”  It didn’t, and it took her a while to come to terms with that.  

By the time she had accepted this “thing”, a year had gone by and June ‘06 arrived.  My birthday gift?  Well, my birthday gift was actually a gift for Buster: a brother.  We adopted Boomer, yet another Australian Shepherd.  

Buster was delighted to have a playmate, another little creature that he could herd.  Oh joy!!  Chaplin’s take on the family addition?  No need to go into that.  With a little bit of imagination, you can figure that out for yourself.  Go ahead, let your imagination run wild, is all I can say.

In the meantime, we had completely baffled both our neighbors and most likely my godmother-in-law.  “2 dogs, a cat, but no children?  They have been married for 3 years now, and still no children!?  Is something wrong? Strange people, those Americans.”

Another year went by and June ‘07 came around.  Over the past years we had pretty much made it a tradition to add to the family around that time, so in that light, it was only appropriate that on my little-milestone birthday that year, I was able to announce that we were yet again adding to the family.  This time with a human being.  Yes, I was pregnant.

When Kai was born, his arrival was met with a certain hesitation of the animals.  Chaplin was disgruntled as she felt that her position in the hierarchy had crashed as much as the economy has at the time of writing this.  Buster didn’t know exactly what his responsibility towards this little ‘thing’ was.  He couldn’t herd it, couldn’t play with it, it took up a lot of attention of his humans that thusfar had gone to him and all of a sudden he couldn’t be as rambunctious as he used to be.  Wha’z up with that?!  Boomer...ah, Boomer.  Well, Boomer, let’s say is the sweetest dog, but dumb as a box of hair, which results in him living a pretty unencumbered life.  His regret is that he wasn’t born a little lap dog.  Seriously, deep down inside, he wants to be exactly that: a lap dog.  I was destined to be adopted by some rich lady from Beverly Hills who would carry him around in her little dog purse, considering him her ‘real’ baby – yes, that is the life Boomer should have had.  Instead, he got us.  Not too bad an alternative, but not quite the same.

By the time Ryder came along this February, we pretty much knew what the animals would think about the arrival of yet another creature.  The question was what Kai would think and how he would react.  In my mind I had gone over so many scenarios: in my dreams he would be excited about his little brother.  He would become slightly protective, he would help out with little things like changing Ryder’s diaper, giving him his blankie, and sweet kisses on his forehead.  In other dreams (which weren’t as sweet as the previous) he would start acting out, become jealous and start resembling the son of a colleague of David who came over 1 time and who decided that all the toys in Kai’s room were “MINE!!!!”.  (Needless to say, that was a 1-time play date and there was no “Let’s do this again some time soon”.)  David and I got a lot of advice from friends who had just gone down the route of adding a 2nd child to their family before us and took everything in.  We somewhat of a plan, but most of that plan consisted of “we’ll see how things go”.  So much for a plan.

Upon Ryder’s arrival, I was relieved that Kai really didn’t care too much.  Him not caring lasted for a few months and was perfectly fine with me.  It beat the alternatives of being overly excited, wanting to be all over Ryder all the time or on the other end of the spectrum, the jealous brother who starts acting out.  Not caring was good.  I liked it.  Unfortunately the past few months Kai started going through the ‘terrible 2’s’ stage where it was all about defying boundaries (no, I did not say ‘defining’) and testing limits.  All of that with a big grin on his face.  At times it didn’t feel as if he was pushing my buttons, no, it felt as if I was one big button all together that constantly got pushed.  A friend of mine at one point wrote me that she was happy that both her kids were past the baby phase and that no matter how cute they were as babies, she really wasn’t crazy about the baby-stage.  She was relieved that they were older now, could talk and reason (more), etc.  And I have to admit: over the past few months I often had moments where I wished that the toddler phase would pass as quickly as possible.  Instead of the baby stage, I was looking forward to this toddler stage being behind me sooner rather than later.

And then, last week, it happened.  From one moment to the other.  One day Kai was still the toddler as described above, the following day: completely the opposite.  It was as if he did a 180 overnight.  He was all loving, kisses, hugs, sweet as could be.  He would want to check on Ryder on the baby monitor while Ryder was sleeping.   He would make sure that Ryder would come along when we went out, he would bring him his blankie, his paci, his bottle.  He would give him hugs and kisses, he was all smiles, giggles and cuteness.  It was as if I had a new toddler.  And I don’t know where he came from, but all of a sudden I found myself LOVING toddlerhood.  Go figure.  He has been like that ever since.  A few nights ago, he even wanted me to lay down with him as he went to bed.  He cuddled with me, took my arm, put it around him and then put both his arms around my neck, so tight, I couldn’t move.  Every move, made him tighten his squeeze, like a baby sucking down on a pacifier as you try to pull it out of his mouth.  Very, very sweet.  Mind you, this is the child who hardly ever wanted to cuddle as a baby and never wants you to put your arm around him .  This is THAT toddler.

In retrospect, I do think that some of his ‘terrible 2’s-symptoms’ were in fact ways to act out a bit, now that he didn’t have 120% of all the attention anymore.  These days I don’t know what caused what, but since he is in better spirits, I find myself a lot more relaxed as well.  Don’t know what came first (chicken / egg), but hey, whatever, this is working for both of us.  Trust me, Kai still has moments that make me have to count to 10 (and sometimes 20), but overall, things are sooo much better.  He has gotten smart though and frequently tells me that “Mommy, put baby Ryder in the bouncy / swing” (in other words: “put the baby in the bouncy, so you have your hands free for me!”).  The other day, as I was nursing Ryder, Kai came walking in, pulling the carrier behind him.  “Baby Ryder in carrier, mommy lift Kai”.  Smart kid.  Come here and give me a kiss.  I love you, Monkey!

Mothers

On Mother's Day, a friend sent me one of those forwarded emails about "Mothers". Granted, Mother's Day is already pretty far behind me, but I nevertheless would like to share it as it is so very true.  I don't know who the original author is or I would have quoted her, but who ever she is, she knows what she's talking about!

MOTHERS 

Real Mothers don't eat quiche;  

they don't have time to make it.

Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils

are probably in the sandbox.

Real Mothers often have sticky floors, 

filthy ovens and happy kids.

Real Mothers know that dried play dough

doesn't come out of carpets.

Real Mothers don't want to know what

the vacuum just sucked up.......

Real Mothers sometimes ask 'Why me?' 

and get their  answer when a little

voice says, 'Because I love you best.'

Real Mothers know that a child's growth 

is not measured by height or years or grade... 

It is marked by the progression of Mommy to Mom to Mother.....

The Images of Mother 

4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't know everything! 

14 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother? She wouldn’t have a clue.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's so five minutes ago.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, 

Because that is the doorway to her heart, 

The place where love resides. 

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, 

But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.  

It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, 

and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows! 

The Diaper Fairy

Fairly soon after we moved into our house in 2004, it started: one morning we opened our front door and there it was - a plastic bag with several fresh ears of corn.  A few days later, we discovered fresh tomatoes.  And this went on and on.  For a couple of years we were occasionally visited by the 'Vegetable Fairy' as we called him.  In addition to corn and tomatoes, we received melons, avocados, lettuce, more corn and more tomatoes.  It was lovely.  Soon after the first few drop-offs, we realized that the 'Vegetable Fairy' was a neighbor of ours who lived on the corner.  He had a little produce garden (we still don't know where, as he didn't have it in his backyard) and now and then he would drop some yummy-ness off.  Given his personality, we decided to change his name from 'Vegetable Fairy' (which by the way, we were just using between the two of us) to the 'Producer'.  Just in case he might overhear us some time.  He wouldn't like 'Vegetable Fairy' - trust me....:-0


To our knowledge he never realized that we called him by either name, but nevertheless, at one point the deliveries stopped.  We must have done something to upset him, but weren't sure what that could have been.  Our best guess is, it happened the day he came over and asked for an item he had loaned us, which was in the back of the garage, behind some pretty heavy items. I was 39 weeks pregnant with Kai (about to pop) and couldn't for the life of me get to the requested item.  When I told him that David would drop it off as soon as he got home that evening, our much beloved 'Vegetable Fairy' 'Producer' walked away, cursing and hissing.  I am still baffled by that.


Whatever.


Since that day, I get my veggies from the 'Vegetable Fairy' at the grocery store.


Fast forward 6 years.  It started a few months ago when Ryder was just 2 months old.  One afternoon, I am in the kitchen and as I walk by the kitchen window, I swear I see someone walk up to the door.  As I put, whatever-it-was I needed to put away, in the fridge, I walk back to the window and check who it is.  There's no one there... "Was my mind playing tricks with me?  I swear I saw someone!  Maybe I didn't.  Good grief, I am sleep-deprived!  I am seriously starting to hallucinate!"  I let it go and continued what I was doing.  The next time I walk by the window, out of the corner of my eye, it looks as if there is something by my front door. My curiosity gets the upper hand and I actually open the front door to check it out.  Only to discover a pack of diapers.  Size 2.  Clearly for Ryder.


A few days later: I get home from grocery shopping (and buying veggies off the 'Vegetable Fairy' at the store) and there it is: a Value Box of size 2 diapers.


The 'Diaper Fairy' exists people!!


Dear Diaper Fairy: 
(I hope you don't mind me calling you this as I mean it in the loveliest way possible)
Thank you for providing us with such an abundant supply of 'tushy covers' for the youngest tushy in our household.  We (and he as well) are extremely grateful for your generosity and for your help to keep the aforementioned tushy nicely dry and soft.


Ryder likes his milk and consumes between 8-10 oz. per meal.  That's between 32-40 oz. per day and we all know what that means: what goes in, must come out.  In other words, he is making great use of your gifts.  As I was changing him tonight, I opened the last pack of size 2 diapers and realized that your planning and timing had been impeccable: next week we will dig into the size 3 diapers that you miraculously made appear on our doorstep 2 days ago.  


In the 4 months that Ryder has been with us, we yet have to buy diapers for him.  Between the diapers we received at my mommy-group baby shower and those that you so kindly dropped at our front door, things have been covered.  Thank you, as we are well aware of the price that even Diaper Fairies have to pay for them.


We are incredibly grateful for your help and support to keep our littlest, cutest and softest tushy covered.

Thank you, also on behalf of Ryder,


All my Love,

Catching Up

My brain is going at a pace that prohibits me from keeping up with it.  It almost hurts.  David and I recently cleaned up the office, turning it into a bit more of a comfortable environment to work in.  Me being sort type A, who is pro “throwing out / giving away what I haven’t used in over a year” – with occasional relapses resulting in clutter – and David, the artist, holding on to nearly everything.  Need I say more? A match made in heaven :-)

In line with the “clean the house frenzy” of a couple of weeks ago, I hosted a multi-family yard sale yesterday. To give you an idea of how much crap I had collected together with my mommy friends: 2 days ago I had to create a path from the door of the office to my desk.  That should explain.  Now here is the awesome cause for which we did this yard sale: our Annual Mom’s Weekend Out.  Last year we left Los Angeles behind us for a weekend in Palm Springs.  Go figure: 10 moms, no hubbies, no kids, 1 house, a pool and BYOB!!  Awesome!!  This year’s destination: Santa Barbara!!  Sweet!!  We’re going to stay at a B&B in the heart of Santa Barbara, which includes breakfast and a daily wine & cheese reception.  The yard sale went okay, we didn’t make as much as I had hoped, mainly due to one of the street signs that had blown off / been ripped off.  BUT, at the end of the morning, we were left with more money than we had started out with, yet I still have 1/2 an office of stuff that I am donating to Goodwill this week.  I want my office back.

Today marks one of the first really warm days in LA.  We’ve had a few, but for some reason this one really feels like the beginning of summer.  I don’t know if that is because it’s Memorial Day weekend, or what the logic is, but it really feels as if summer is starting.  I started cleaning the patio today.  The bar was dirty, the candle holders needed to be washed, the walls of the house needed spraying off, so now, all there is to do is the patio surface (a job in and by itself).  All I say is “some other day”.  Maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, dunno, it greatly depends on when I have time.

‘Time’ is such a difficult concept in my life at the moment.  I was relieved to read that one of my followers is going through a similar thing of “where did the day go?” as she commented to my previous post.  I find myself incredibly busy during the the day, only to ask myself at the end of it “What all did I do?” and often I am not even able to answer that question.  Frustrating!!!  I really don’t waste much time, but most of the time is consumed taking care of the boys, which really doesn’t leave much time for anything else.  I have mentioned it before, but that’s why the afternoon naptime for the kids is so incredibly sacred to me.

That brings me to one of the big challenges that I am faced with these days: Ryder and his sleeping habits.  Oh lordy, where do I start?  I’m incredibly happy that I was able to wean him off the night feedings when he was 8 weeks old.  It went fast and easy, in 2 days they were over and done with.  Wahoo!!  But...we’re not sleeping through the night.  Oh heavens no!!  If only!!!  There are more things involved in order to master that:

• the pacifier
• the swaddling blanket
• falling asleep (Ryder, not me, I have no problems with that)
  

“To Pacify or Not To Pacify?  That Is The Question”
The paci was oh so handy when Ryder was younger and he loves it.  It soothes him right away.  He has started finding his thumb (Mommy thinks: “Yeah!!”), but is not able to find it consistently.  So, now when the paci falls out, it lands next to him and when he turns his head, it gets stuck between his neck and the mattress, which wakes him up.
Option 1 (The quick-fix): pop the paci back in, but then within an hour we’re back to square 1.  This will get me up between 6-10 times a night and obviously ain’t working so well for Mommy.
Option 2 (the longer fix): pop paci in, rock him into a deep sleep, take paci out and transfer back into his crib.  This way I get up about 2 times a night, but the process takes longer.

Swaddling:
LOVE LOVE LOVE swaddling, but I gave life to 2 Houdini’s who did not last long in swaddling blankets.  Ryder is now out with hands and feet, but I still wrap the swaddling blanket around his waist as he likes the snug-fit.  I would like to wean him off that as well, as temps are going up and it might be getting too warm for him.

Falling asleep:
Contrary to Kai, Ryder loves to snuggle and cuddle.  I’ve been rocking him to sleep, merely because we both love it.  I never got to do that with Kai (he still isn’t big on snuggling), so I’m getting that fix through Ryder.  I taught Kai to fall asleep on his own when he was 4-5 months.  It went pretty easy and ever since he has been an amazing sleeper, in every way: I can put him down wide awake, give him a kiss, walk out and he is fine.  Hardly ever a problem, he’s awesome when it comes to falling asleep.  I would like to do the same with Ryder, but I also don’t want to give up the snuggling yet.  See my dilemma?

To anyone who is not a mommy, these things probably don’t mean a thing (I’m surprised you’re still reading at this point), but to other moms this may sound familiar.  These may look like insignificant things that you ‘just do / deal with’, but as a mom who wants to keep her household running as peacefully and happily as possible, these are things that take up a lot of time in our minds trying to figure out.  “When is the right time to do what” and honestly I don’t know.  I have no idea how I am going to go about this, but I trust that I’ll figure it out.  I did with Kai, so I will with Ryder.

Kai is doing well.  Though he is the one experiencing toddler hood first hand, David and I have a first class ticket as VIP passengers on the toddler hood train.  And sometimes it’s a darn bumpy ride, which really makes me want to request a refund.  But then there are also the journeys that are delightfully smooth, so smooth that I am convinced I got an awesome deal!  In other words, he really goes from the devilish (but cute) toddler one day to an angel the other.

At the moment we’re facing the “struggle with the tooth brush”.  To most parents who are facing toddler hood (through their kids that is), or who are just coming out of it, this may sound like a familiar story.  Brushing our teeth is a daily challenge at the moment.  Shaking our head, sucking the tooth paste of the brush, squirming away, throwing fits, you name it, we’ve had it or been through it.  I don’t know if he doesn’t like having his teeth brushed, or if it is just a control issue, but I hate those 2 times a day with a passion.  He’ll happily run into the bathroom when we announce that it is time to brush our teeth, plops down on the toilet seat cover, but then it goes South from there.  We’re still in the process of figuring this one out.

Up until last week, Kai was all about testing limits, being defiant, not listening, in other words, real devil at times.  Having said that, it seems as if over the past few days he has done a complete 180: he’s incredibly loving, wants to help in the kitchen, gives hugs and kisses, and is overall incredibly sweet.  He still tests the “No’s” at times, but overall, he’s really good.  He’ll bring things when I ask him, helps put the laundry in, wants to give the bottle to Ryder, is very concerned about Ryder when he sleeps and wants to constantly check his brother out on the video monitor.  Adorable.

I have to admit, the kid knows what he wants and is very smart in making subtle attempts to get it.  Here’s an example of what happened after dinner the other day:
Kai: “Kai and papa in auto” (‘auto’ is Dutch for ‘car)
David took him to the car, thinking he wanted to sit on daddy’s lap to play with the steering wheel.
Kai: “Kai sit in car seat” [pointing at his seat]
David opened the door and Kai climbed in.
Kai:  “Papa strap Kai in”
David strapped him in.
Kai: “Now, papa sit over there” [pointing at the driver seat]
David got in the driver seat.
Kai: “Now, papa and Kai go to Mak and Nini” (Mike & Nina are his godparents)

This is the alternative to the incessant “Kai go see Mak & Nini” that he sometimes gets obsessed about.  Smart way of trying it differently, I have to admit.  If one way doesn’t work, why not try it differently?

There is so much more going on, but at the moment my brain is fried of thinking about it, and Ryder is (once again) awake.  So...time to do some soothing.  Hopefully I’ll be back a bit more again this week.  New month, new chances.