July '11 - The First Half of a Great Summer

July in Los Angeles = Heat.  And what better way for 2 toddlers to confront that heat than with a water hose?

It looked like the boys started to get along better.  The times playing together were getting longer, the fights were getting shorter and more spread out.

That is not to say though that the “caliber” of the fights was anything less than “explosive” though… In the afternoon, Kai LOVED to join me in getting Ryder out of his crib after naptime.  So sweet to see him so excited with the prospect of seeing his baby brother again.  (Long may this last!!)  One afternoon, he stormed into Ryder’s room with a “Hey Ryder! You're awake Bubba!"  [sigh] [heart melts].

The summer was a busy one.  July marked the beginning of summer school, swimming lessons and gymnastics.  Apparently all this starts at age 3.  I don’t think I started with swimming lessons until I was in elementary school.  Surprising, given that I grew up in The Netherlands, a country that is for 25% located below sea level.On July 10 I posted on Facebook that I put my 17-month old in a size 3T pajamas.  It fit perfectly.  Did I mention the kid likes to eat?  Yeah, he does – and he does it in style:

This is the bottom shelf of my fridge on an average day:

Not realizing he’s just a bit big for the Bumbo Seat:

Though many problems can be solved with food, there are some (problems / situations) where even food doesn’t work.  They are rare, but they do exist.  Ryder’s first hair cut was one of them.  Not grooving on that so much.  It involved lots of screaming (by him) and fighting (also by him.  However, here’s the transformation:

So, summer school: Kai changed schools this summer and prior to starting the new school year at his new school, he was going to have 3 weeks of part-time fun in its Summer School program.  When you have a stubborn child who LOVES routine, it’s a bit of a challenge to explain why he is going to move to a different school.  Until one day one of my friends Facebooked me (is this even a verb?) and double checked that Kai was going to start school the following day, so that Kai and her daughter Madison could meet up in front of the school before classes started.  Oh, there was the incentive and the timing couldn’t have been better: Madison.  Kai likes Madison.  Kai LOVES Madison.

As soon as I told him that he would see Madison the next day at school, all reservation were ‘poofed’ away.  As if they had never existed.  Thank you, thank you Sweet Madison!  From that moment on, the thought of school was GREAT!  The following day, Kai and Madison met up before school.  Unfortunately they were in separate classes, but Kai accepted that and had no problems getting started at his new place of learning:

Madison waited for him after school.  They met up before school the following day.  She waited for him afterwards.  This went on for the entire length of summer school.  Until Madison went on vacation.  Kai missed her very much.

Summer school was great.  As a toddler you know that it's gonna be a good day when you have to wear your swimsuit to school and when you walk in you are sitting down next to your friends at a plastic table with the only thing on it being cans of shaving foam. Darn, I wish I was a toddler going to summer camp.  Then there was “Pony Day”.  The day that the kids were visited by 3 ponies to pet, learn about and (I believe) feed.  How awesome?!?!  Again, I wish I was a toddler in Summer School.  Needless to say, summer school was a success.

While Kai was in school, Ryder and I had a chance to hang out together.  It was lovely and I wish it could have lasted longer.  When Kai was his age, he was the only one.  I got to go to play dates, day trips, etc., but now with two, the younger one adjusts to the older one’s schedule.  Dropping Kai off and picking him up from school, and add to that naptime for the baby, didn’t leave much time for daytrips out.  Walks in the neighborhood provided Ryder with the opportunity to make new friends too, though:

Even though Kai was the one in school, Ryder too worked hard on developing those brain cells that approx. 2 years ago he stole from me while warm and cozy in my belly.  One afternoon he pulled the Melissa & Doug letter puzzle out of Kai’s puzzle box and this is what I witnessed: (mind you that this is the first time he played with the puzzle)

So, in addition to summer school there were gymnastic and swim classes.  Kai was hot and cold about gymnastics.  First class was great.  He didn’t want to go home.  Second class, he didn’t want to go to gymnastics.  This pattern continued through the summer.  Not sure if gymnastics will return next year.Then, the swim classes: well, first class went seemingly well…

… until he all of a sudden started crying at the end of class.  I think he was overwhelmed, but from that moment on he did NOT want to have ANYTHING to do with swimming lessons.  I would seriously have to get him in the car while he kicked, screamed, hit and fought the hardest he could.  I was stronger.  I won.  Ms. Linda was great though.  Patience to the point where I envy her.  I wish I had it.  [sigh]  He got better and more comfortable as the month went on, but “loving” it was a loooooooong way away.

All the school, gymnastics, swimming and outdoor play wear a 3-year old out, so it doesn’t matter how much he protested, he would (occasionally) still fall asleep during his “quiet time” in the afternoon.  He would start out playing with his cars, but then fatigue would take over and this is how I would find him several hours later:

Ryder too, got a little taste of sports.  Just want to post this, so that when he goes into basketball at some point, I can proof that he was into it from a young age:

On the “Romance” front: David and I celebrated our 8^th wedding anniversary.  It was lovely.  David’s “uncle” let us stay at his condo in Manhattan Beach, while our babysitter spent a day and a night with the boys at the house.  Armed with a bottle of bubbles and some delicious cheeses we headed south.  Spent the afternoon at the pool, showered and got dressed to go out for dinner.  Opened the bubbles and chilled, chatted and enjoyed it with cheese and crackers on the balcony.  Once ready for dinner, we had to call a cab to come pick us up ;-)  As we didn’t have dinner reservations at Sashi Sushi, we went across the little square to Shade Hotel & Lounge for some cocktails. 

David and I always “compete”: who gets the better drink.  Oh, did I win this time: not only in taste, but so in presentation: my drink came served in an ice-glass:

Dinner was awesome.  Can’t go wrong with Sushi.  Some great creations, and some “bring us what the Chef recommends”.

[singing:} “Hallelujah!”

The rest of our little get-away: sleeping in, Mimosa’s, Eggs Benedict and Chocolate for breakfast, swimming, lounging and returning home refreshed and happy.  Oh yeah, with some “excitement” on the I-405 on the way back:

Yep, LA traffic sometimes really sucks...

With July behind us, next up is August.  The 2^nd half of summer.  The 2^nd half of all the fun.  That update coming soon.

25 Day Challenge - Day 19

Knowing When Not To
Maybe you had noticed, maybe you hadn't, but I like to speak my mind.  If I am around 'others' (outside of the comforts of my home) I do edit myself, but if I am comfortably at home with my hubby or hanging out with my best friend, I usually say exactly what's on my mind.  It comes forth out of the comfort I feel being around these people.  I feel safe, at ease and feel comfortable enough to speak my mind.  In my writing I tend to speak my mind and put it as I see it (no, not necessarily as it is).  You don't like what you're reading?  That's okay.  You can stop, I won't force you to continue.

Unfortunately, I have found myself in a few situations lately in which I spoke my mind at home with my hubby, expressing my opinions, my thoughts, my ideas and it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to.  Speaking my mind didn't go over very well, and though the few times that it happened, we talked things over and 'made up', it has put me in a place where I start to wonder if I have to start editing myself.

This is a hard one for me, I have to admit.  I feel that with one's other half (husband / wife / partner / etc.) one should be able to share what's on their mind.  Even when the other person may not agree, or may not like it.  Isn't that what relationships are (also) about: being able to be open, honest and to speak up?  

Then, on the other hand, if you know that what you are about to say (or what you want to say) might end up being misinterpreted and cause a disagreement, is it then better to not say it and keep it to yourself?

I think the crux here is 'timing': there is a right time for everything and sometimes might just not be the right time.  I have come to the conclusion that there are occasions when it is better not to say what's on your mind, hold on to it and wait until a later moment in time to bring it up.  Maybe when things have calmed down, when the other person is in a more relaxed state of mind, when you're not pressured by time because the kids need to go to bed, whatever that is.

Knowing when not to roll out your arguments / thoughts / opinions is difficult.  Especially when you really want to share your opinion and you really want to be heard.  However, it may very well be possible that there is a better time to do this at which time you might even be heard a lot better.

Give it a try.  I will.

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Resilience
Resilience is your personal power, your inner strength that allows you to rise above difficult circumstances, and bounce back stronger than before the challenge!  With such vitality, nothing can bring you down, or destabilise you.


Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

Post It Note Tuesday: Frustrations, Happiness & Questions

It Was Not That Morning

There are mornings that you wake up, realize you actually got a good night's sleep and you're ready for the day.  Though for many of us these mornings are rare, I do love them.  This morning was certainly NOT one of them.  Yes, I said NOT.  Those mornings don't start at 5am.  Mine did.  Those mornings I wake up before the kids do.  This morning I did not.  Those mornings start in quiet.  This morning did not.  Those mornings I feel fresh and awake.  This morning I did not.

After 2 birthday parties, bouncy castles, running around, lots of crap food, and tons of excitement, Kai slept well and did a perfect job attempting to make it one of those mornings for me.  Ryder didn't get the memo and was awake at 5am.  You'd think that being out and about, getting tons of attention and stimulation, fresh air and all other things that make babies tired, he'd sleep longer.  Nope.  Did not happen.  This morning was definitely NOT one of those mornings.

Also, I marvel at the tremendous amount of clutter that was laying around in my house.  The double stroller was functioning as laundry basket with several loads of clean, unfolded laundry piled on it. (At least it was clean!)  The living room mirrored the image of an exploded toy store and our bedroom was filled with a wide variety of items that belonged elsewhere, such as the kids' rooms, the bathroom, the closet, and so on.  So much for a relaxing sanctuary.

I needed my sanity back! (Translation: it's cleaning time).


I hate tidying, yet the result is always nice and soothing.  But, in the process I always wonder: where the heck did all this junk come from?  Who bought this?  Oh wait, I did.  Why did I buy this?  Oh yeah, for the kids.  Sometimes it seems as if the toys multiply over night.  Laundry seems to do the same.  Can it do that?  'Cause it seriously looks like it can.  Oh wait, I live with 3 guys.  Right.  That explains.  Yes it does, because let's face it, it's not my laundry!  Well, maybe a few items.  


Then there is the magical coffee cup that appears every morning on my kitchen counter.  It truly is like magic, given that I DON'T DRINK COFFEE!!!  My beloved husband on the other hand does.  Without his go-water he is nothing.  Absolutely lost in space, no sense of direction (literally and figuratively speaking) and completely incapable of being productive.  So, coffee is his morning ritual.  That's wonderful, after all, we all have our 'must haves' right?  Going back to the cup.  So, here's how it (the cup) works: one fills it with the brown liquid, adds a splash of half 'n half, and puts it to their lips.  The coffee gets ingested and starts doing its job.  (Or so you would think.)  Occasionally, once the cup is empty, it gets refilled, but eventually it always ends up (mostly) empty...on the kitchen counter (or in the sink).  Right above the dishwasher.  Not in the dishwasher, but right above it.  On the counter.  (Sometimes it ends up on the counter in the bathroom.  Result: a bathroom reeking like coffee.  Ugh!)  Doesn't that stuff work?  Maybe it's old.  Maybe I should buy some super-duper-kick-in-the-butt coffee that I am blatantly unaware of.  Would that work better? 


Come to think of it, the mystery of the magical coffee cup, very much resembles the mystery of the magical socks that always end up next to the bed and then slowly migrate under the bed.  (Mind you: I wear flip flops).  I really don't want to go into painting a picture, so I am going to refrain from explaining this one, but with a little bit of imagination you can figure out where I would have gone if I were to continue at this point.

At this point, my laundry is done, folded, (almost all) put away, cup is in the dishwasher, kids are about to wake up from their nap and I need to start cooking dinner (that is, if anyone wants to eat tonight).


Can I just say that I look forward to having one of "those mornings".  They are beautiful and productive.  I need one.

25 Day Challenge - Day 10 & 11

What happened to yesterday?  I swear it was lacking hours.  There were fewer than 24, I just know it!  At least that's how it felt.  Didn't have a chance to write and even now, I am sitting down in between birthday parties filled with sugar, bouncy castles and amped up toddlers to find a moment to write.

The challenge yesterday asked for every time I felt like saying "I have to...", to replace it with "I get to..."  Oh man, that was difficult and I am just not sure if I passed the test.  Most mommies will be familiar with the 'witching hour' and as many families, we have one as well.  At the end of the afternoon, always right when I am about to start cooking.  

I always enjoy company in the kitchen.  Nothing beats a nice conversation (while enjoying a glass of something) while prepping dinner,  but when that company fusses, cries, fusses, cries and occasionally lets out sounds at the volume strong enough to deafen me, it really destroys that nice ambience.  Yesterday wasn't any different and I had a really hard time to move from "I have to find a way for Ryder to calm down" to "Yippee, I get to wear my 19 lb. baby on my chest, while dealing with a sore knee, a painful back, oh and while prepping dinner."  


Being able to move from "I have to..." to "I get to..." can make a big difference in our minds and in how we perceive things on our way.  I totally see that.  And I totally had a hard time with it yesterday.  So there!

Today's Challenge:

Concentration Ability
When you want to do something sincerely and are decisive about it, the power of concentration becomes available to you.  Concentration allows you to achieve more in less time and respond to situations in a more effective way.


Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge 
As I am writing this, my dear husband is on the phone and decided to put the conversation on speaker phone as he 'can't hold the phone and type at the same time'.  I am in the same room, making attempts to write this post and though it is challenging to block out the conversation (which does not involve any typing at the moment, yet is still on speaker phone), I am surprised about how well I am able to concentrate on the thing that I am doing here.  

It's not because it's written in the challenge, but I do strongly believe that I am much more effective in what I do when I do 1 thing at a time and really give that thing 100% attention.  Many times I feel overwhelmed with the ever-expanding list of to-do's.  That list never seems to get shorter.  For every thing that gets crossed off, it seems there are 2 more things that are being added at the bottom.  

Here's what I have learned in the past, which really seems to work: on a note pad, make a master list of all the things that you need to do.  Then, pick 1 thing off that list and write that down on a separate page.  Leave that page visible to you and do that 1 thing.  Finish it and cross it off the 2 pages.  Now, take the next 1 thing that needs to be done and write it down on that second page.  Do just that thing, complete it, and cross it off.  

This way you stay focused and don't get distracted by all the other things that need to be done.

Here I am.  Still writing.  In the mean time, I have said "not now" to something that I was asked earlier and I haven't checked my email (despite it ringing several times, alarming me that there is yet another piece of junk mail that needs reading immediately).  In the mean time my husband ended his phone call, just in time for me to be done writing.

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Overcoming Anger:
Anger can be a by-product of our way of thinking, rather than it being caused by a person or an event.  You can either hold on to your anger or, you can calm down and let go.  Choose to be calm and you'll find it easier to forgive and move on.


Click here for the 'think - pause - act' elements of the challenge

25 Day Challenge - Day 9

Finding Clarity

I have to admit that today I totally 'missed out' on my challenge.  I didn't even think about it.  Ohoh...bad mommy...

BUT, having honestly admitted that, I do have to say that over the past couple of months I have worked on the very thing that today's challenge asked for: clearing my environment.  No, I have not been picking up trash from the street (though I have from our front yard.  Can you imagine, people actually littering in other people's front yards?!?!  Yes, it happens!  Grrr!!!).  But, I have been clearing out my living environment.

A few months ago I was at a game night that one of my mommy friends had organized: a bunch of mamas, sipping wine, playing games and having good laughs.  My idea of a fun eve with friends.  We got to talking about this book that the host had bought and how it had changed her life.  I was intrigued and ordered it myself:

The Simple Living Guide, by Janet Luhrs is very insightful and gives great tips on how to go about simplifying every day aspects of life, reducing our stress levels and teaching us how to live more 'in the moment', more fully.  

The book prompted me to clean my house, take out all the crap a lot of things that I hadn't used for over a year and put those in boxes for a yard sale.  I filled up 3 trash bags with stuff out of my closet.  (No, I did not touch David's!) After my pregnancy with Ryder there were enough clothes that I couldn't or wouldn't wear anymore, so why hold on to them?  All that was left over after the yard sale got donated to Goodwill.

It feels nice to clean (out), though it is an activity that makes David nervous, to say the least.  He's the pack rat, I am the ... opposite (can't think of the word here).  So yes, it may have happened at some random moment in the past that I may, possibly, in a moment of ThisHouseNeedsToBeCleanNOW-overwhelm,  have tossed something out that I later  needed..or was his...possibly...dunnot remember specifics (Momnesia, I suffer from it).

Overall though, a clean house, and space around me (clean desk, tidy closets, tidy kitchen, etc.) gives me peace.  Ahah!  Now I know why I'm so-not-peaceful at the moment!!  Too much clutter!  That's it!  Glad I had my 'Ahah-moment' today, but unfortunately I am not in the mood to clean right now.  It's 11:20pm.  Too tired.

Must. Go. To. Bed.

Tomorrow's challenge:

No Complaining Zone

If you approach life complaining about what's missing then you'll be dissatisfied.  Satisfaction comes from knowing that things can always be improved but at the same time appreciating what is right in your life, right now.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

The Loving Thing My Husband (almost) Called Me

First of all, let me give a shout out to my husband:  Happy Birthday Babe!  I love you very much.  Yes, I love you AND I have to write about this, despite your pleas not to, but it's just too friggin' funny and I wouldn't want to withhold laughs from anyone.  Hey, if with this story I can brighten someone's day, or make at least 1 other person (besides us) laugh, then it's worth it and you can beg all you want, but it's staying up on my blog.  (After all, I AM the Queen - see siggie!)

So, as I said, it's my hubster's birthday today and tradition is that the birthday person gets to sleep in.  So, today was his turn.  Lucky guy.  Hubby wakes up, breakfast is ready (warm croissants from the oven, fresh fruit, daily caffeine-fix-without-which-reasonable-functioning-does-not-happen, gifts, etc.).  The day is on its way to become a lovely day.  Did I say he was a lucky guy?

Then Ryder wakes up and it's time for more food.  This time for him.  He eats his rice cereal after which he nurses and downs a bottle of milk.  (Having cereal before milk doesn't seem to keep him from consuming the same amount of white-stuff.  Good for him!)

David gets ready to go to an audition and explains to Kai that he has to go book a job.  He continues "that way mama can buy some actual veggies for Ryder and can back off of producing milk as if she were a ... [silence and swallowing of a word]", to which I started laughing and asked: "were you actually gonna call me a cow?"  All he could do was stutter, blush, mumble, blush, giggle embarrassedly and blush some more, which totally gave it away.  He actually was gonna call me a COW?!?!?!?  My own husband??  Wow, it's enlightening to see what 7 years of marriage will do to one.  I couldn't help but laugh and that's when the back pedaling started.  "No, I didn't mean to, I was going to say 'wonderful-milk-providing-goddess'.  Seriously, I didn't mean to call you that!!!"  I was soo amused to see him struggle and couldn't help but exclaim: "That is a story I have to write about!"  Well, that sent him completely up the wall.  Oh I "shouldn't do that!"  He "really didn't mean it after all!!"  I know that, and I will make sure to mention that you didn't mean it, yet it was still very funny and I am still going to write about it.

So, on that note, there it is.  My husband was gonna call me a cow, but hey, he didn't mean it!!  

When I started this blog, I thought it'd be fun to document my journey of discovery as a mom to 2 boys.  I knew that there would be material that I may be able to bribe and embarrass humor the them with when they are older, but it looks like this is also becoming a re-discovery of my husband.  Babe, this one is for you!!  So that I will remember this one for future purposes we can have another laugh about this later.  I love you anyways.  Oh, and Happy Birthday!!