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Monday, June 7, 2010

Enjoy Them, They Grow up So Fast


I remember when Kai was born, hearing it over and over again: "Enjoy them, they grow up so fast."  I heard it so much that eventually, I started blocking it out when people went down 'that route' again.  Yeah, they were right, he grew up fast, but wasn't it awesome?!?!

Now that we have Ryder, things are a bit different.  Most likely we will not be having any more children, so this is it.  No more babies when Ryder grows up. I am making sure that I enjoy every moment of these days as tomorrow he might reach some kind of physical or developmental milestone at which point a certain stage or phase gets closed and will never return again.  As much as I enjoy watching them grow up, I have a hard time accepting that certain moments will never return.  Yes, they will be replaced by new moments that are just as beautiful and memorable, but it does mean that certain chapters come to a close.  That is life, I know, but that doesn't mean it's always easy to accept.



My Dearest Ryder:

Please take your time growing up.  I enjoy your baby-being and am not ready yet for all that is around the corner, for all that is about to happen.  You are dispensing so much drool, that I can almost call you my little waterfall.  Teeth are on their way up (or down - depending on their locations), but I am not ready for you to lose your gummy smile.  I remember my heart breaking when Kai cut his first tooth and I am just not emotionally ready for that to happen to you.  Hold off on that.  The whole teething process is no fun anyways.

Last night I came to the painful conclusion that you no longer 'fit' in my arms in the way that I have held you your entire life.  Every evening, rocking you to sleep with you literally laying in my arms, up against my chest.  Yesterday, you couldn't get comfortable anymore in that particular position, simply because you have gotten so long that your feet touch the opposite arm rest, which makes you want to push off on it.  Not only did it almost launch you out of my arms, but it also brought tears to my eyes.  I am now in the process of finding another position that is comfortable for you and soothing for me.  Yes, soothing as I LOVE holding you in my arms, watching you get comfortable and fall asleep.  I am simply not ready to give all this up.  You are only 4 months, you're still a baby and I want you to take your time growing up.

Take your time My Love, take your time.  For mommy's sake.

With all my Love,

Mommy



All those people were right: we should enjoy them as they grow up so fast.  It is just easier to brush it off when you know that a sibling will come at some point.  But at one point or another, we all get to this point where we realize "this will never return".  On that note, I join that group by saying "Enjoy them.  They grow up so incredibly fast.  They may have changed by tomorrow and today will never return."

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