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Here is what bothers me: almost every day, something happens that makes me think "Oh, I have to write about that". And 99.9% oh screw it, 100% of the time that is at moments where sitting down to write down my notes is pretty much beyond impossible. Then, at 9pm (like today) when I finally have time to sit and write, the moment is so far behind me, gone, history, that it has lost all of its emotion and hence doesn't serve a purpose for my blog anymore. And every day I tell myself "note the emotion, so you can access that again tonight when you write". And every day I fail miserably.
Having said that, I would like to take a moment and comment on the 2 people who appeared to be incapable of parking their cars this afternoon at Bed Bath & Beyond in Studio City, CA. If you were the owner of a big black, fancy, shiny Lexus SUV (you know, the one that were deemed unsafe by IDontRememberWhatCarSafetyRatingOrganization because they tipped over too easily) or you own the black, shiny, fancy-wannabe Nissan sedan that took the Lexus' spot when they left: TAKE A DRIVING LESSON AND LEARN TO PARK!!!!!!
You know, those white lines that mark the spots in parking lots...yeah, those white ones, on the ground, they serve a purpose: they indicate where you park. IN BETWEEN THEM!!! Granted you both drive big cars, but trust me, the spots didn't say "compact", so you should have been perfectly capable of parking the darn vehicles properly. If you can't park the car, don't drive it!!!
You shouldn't have to force other people, especially those with 2 kids, to having to hold their breath in order to be able to get out of their car. Oh, "Why did I have to take that spot next to you then?" you ask?? Ah, good question, I saw that one coming: because it was in the shade and the last one on the lot, without me having to park down the street and walk a block. I have 2 kids!!!!! Can't you read?!?! And it was another HOTHOTHOT one today, so no, I didn't feel like shlepping my kiddo's down a busy street in the sun.
And as if getting out the car wasn't enough of a struggle, the shopping experience definitely didn't improve the quality of my afternoon. I came in for 3 things: a stick blender (as I ground my old one up on ice cubes - you'd think it could handle that. No, it couldn't!!! Let this be a lesson for all of you blending-fanatics out there!), popsicle molds and one of those misting fan spray bottles. You know, the spray bottles with a fan on it. The ideal buddy for zoo days like the one earlier this week.
Stick blender: was on the website. Not in the store. Got ordered, will arrive in 2 weeks. Got a $10 discount coupon and managed to get the shipping costs waived. Hey, if the store doesn't have it in stock and is ordering it to be shipped to me, I am certainly not planning on paying for shipping costs. Them not having it in stock is not my problem.
Popsicle molds: were on the website. Not in the store. But by the time 2 associates had searched the shelves (really: do you think I didn't already check?!?! What do you think I am? Stupid? If you guys had had it, I would have found it. I really really really want those molds) and finally checked in the 'back' (which took wayyyy too long when you have a fidgety 2 year old in the cart and a fussy and tired 5 month old in the carrier on your chest), the answer was "no". REALLY?? I wasted Cheerios, a cereal bar and lots of bribing for "no"? [stifled curse]
Mist-fanny-thingy (that sounds wrong, but you know what I mean): Check! I would have lost it if they didn't have it.
By the time I get to the check out, both boys have absolutely had it. What was supposed to be a quick in-and-out let-me-get-my-things-and-go trip, turned into the shopping experience every mom dreads (and rightfully fears). Only for it to be made WORSE at the check out where a 40-somewhat-disgruntled-unhappy-with-his-life-and-everything-in-it- middle-aged-probably-mid-life-crisis-suffering-uptight-man manages the register. (Did I mention I ALWAYS pick the wrong line?).
"Did you find everything you needed?"
(Do you really care?)
Me: "As a matter of fact I did not." (and it really quite bothers me)
Him: "I meant, did you need anything else?"
Me [thinking]: See! My point exactly!! Ya just don't give a flying toss!"
Me [politely]: "nope, thanks".
Him: "Do you have the $10 discount coupon that is mentioned here on your order?"
Me: "Oh, I gave it to Sean, who placed the order for me on the computer over there." [pointing]
He then slowly but determined picks up the phone and calls over the intercom to Sean to verify and to make sure that this woman in front of him (yeah, the one with the 2 screaming kids) isn't lying. Com'on!!! You've GOT to be kiddin' me!! Are you for real?? Oh wait, you probably don't get paid enough to really care. That's right, I forgot!
Yeah, and then upon returning to my car there was the Nissan whose owner couldn't park either. 'Nuf said above!
Well, maybe today I made sure to remember the emotion as this seems to have turned into quite a post. Thanks for reading!
I am starting a new initiative:
Every Friday I will post 5 questions regarding your "Favorite ...[fill in the blank]". The topics will range from kids' related matters, to pamper-yourself ideas, to food to household items and everything in between.
Leave your answers in the Comments section and I will compile them and write a follow up post with answers to the questions for the following week's Friday Faves. I look forward to hearing from you, getting to know you and sharing ideas.
For this week, tell me about your Favorite:
1. ... kids' summer snack/treat
2. ... tantrum soother
3. ... activity if you have 2 hours for yourself
4. ... facial scrub (include price and where to buy it)
5. ... staying-in date night
So yes, today was the first beach outing. Mind you: I like the beach. I HATE the sand. I hate it as 'me' because sand gets everywhere, even in places I didn't think it could get. I hate the it as a mother because the beach gets brought home and I get the honorable job of cleaning it up. But...other than that...I love the beach!
We actually managed to leave the house at 9am as scheduled [applause please]. Getting out the door with 2 kids is a butt-load of work. I'd have never thought it, but it is. We looked as if we were going away for a whole weekend, but I think that also is part of parenthood. You can never have enough wipes, diapers and food with you.
After some hesitation, Kai (reluctantly) agreed to join papa at the shore line. It's the same as with food. It's an huge challenge to get him to take that first bite, but then he realizes it's actually pretty good whatever-it-is-he-just-let-us-give-him and then there's no stopping. The same with the water. Once he got that first wave hitting his feet, he was full of anticipation awaiting the "next one".
I seriously do not know what the kid is made of, but whatever it is, it's working. I can whole heartedly tell you that that water was cold. It was FREEZING (well, almost). What kind of sadistic joy do people get out of getting in the ocean here? Seriously, something's gotta be wrong with you if you actually enjoy getting in here, because people, that was just not nice at all!!!! Maybe it was the chub that Kai has left around his ankles and thighs that insulated him and made him unaffected by the freezing temps of the ocean for as long as he managed, I don't know, but he certainly was able to tolerate that water a heck of a lot longer than either David or I could. Consequently, we took turns accompanying him.
And when it was my turn, it happened: the water was calm, waves came in at a regular pattern, no higher than my calves until the one...the miniature tsunami wave that hit the beach and splashed up on my back and belly until right under my boobs. Kai wasn't affected by the splash of water (again: HUH???), but me....well, see for yourself:
Yeah, I was 'affected' by it, let me tell you! (I canNOT believe I actually am posting this picture!!!!!) When my toes had almost become brittle as a result from the freezing temps they had been exposed to for way too long, Kai was starting to get a bit chilly as well. "Honey, you're shaking and got goose-bumps all over!!! You're cold." "Noooo, Nooooo cold!!! More waves!!!!" You get the idea.
Our little trip out was topped off (literally) by a bird flying over and deciding to let go of some 'waste' right as he flew over David. Charming... Dave didn't think so, but at least the kids right next to us got a chuckle out of it. It's supposed to be good luck. I so hope he buys a lottery ticket on the way home tonight. Hey, at least we brought a butt load of wipes!! "They've gotta be somewhere in this bag. Lemme dig to the bottom."
So, with summer having arrived and temps on the rise (106 yesterday afternoon, 102 today), we'll be returning to the beach again soon. I'm just happy that David was able to take the morning off and we were able to squeeze this family outing in. It was great to have the help as well, as the thought of the beach trip by myself is still a bit overwhelming. (Can you tell I am still in the infant shoes of motherhood-to-two?)
I don't remember much these days without writing it down, but I do remember one day last week at dinner, when I said to David (or at least I think I said it, maybe I thought it...oh well, doesn't matter) that we're well into July, but that the temps aren't near as high as they usually are at this time of year. I think the warm-weather-Gods heard me and thought something along the lines of "We'll teach her a lesson!" The forecast for today was warm, but not too warm to keep me from going to the zoo with my best friend and the kids. Nice morning outing, wouldn't ya say? Not.So.Much. Hot people!! Already at 10am when the gates opened! As in HOT!! And there I was, with my Flagship (the double stroller) and roughly 60 lbs. in kids' weight. Hey, no big deal that we had to give up our gym membership. Momma got her work out pushing the Bulldozer with kids up one hill and up another. Yes, I said "up" and "up". There was no down hill in the cards for me. The only one we encountered was the one when my friend was pushing my stroller. She wanted to check out how it felt (she's 25 weeks preggers with baby girl #2).
By the time we got to the playground we were all drenched. And tell me, what is it with the zoo that whenever I go there, I crave an ice-cold Coca Cola? I don't do soda's. I do water. That's it. Oh oops, I do water and cocktails (5pm my friends!). Guess what?!?! The zoo doesn't do Coca Cola! They only do Pepsi! I don't want to fall into the Coca Cola vs. Pepsi debate, but I am not a Pepsi person. I just am not. Don't like it, won't drink it. Period. No Coca Cola to be found. Darn those random cravings!
Long story short: Zoo. Too. Hot. Uncomfortable. Home early.
Over the past 3 days Kai hasn't eaten (much). He usually eats well and it started to worry me a bit. But this morning: all the worries were flushed away with the tooth brush water when I realized he was about to cut his 2nd 2-year molar. That explained everything from the lack of eating, to the fussiness, to the random wakings. Mommy's mind has been put to ease.
Yesterday marked the day that Ryder started 'talking'. Not in any language that anyone but him can understand, but it is friggin' funny. He is so excited about his new-found ability that he won't shut up! Seriously people, I can easily put him forward to the Speech and Debate Team at my work. He'll talk everyone under the table. I will leave you with a little clip taken during dinner last night:
My lovely Ryder is getting mommy a bit "tangled up" I should say. The little monster weighs 21 lbs. at the beautiful ripe age of 5 months. Yeah, I know, that's heavy. Tell me about it. I cannot wait for him to be able to sit up by himself, but I think we're still a bit away from that moment. Consequently, I am will continue to carry 21 lbs. of lovely chubbaliciousness around for a while. Result: I have knots in my neck, shoulders and back that are big bigger and tougher than fisherman's rope.
One of the tendon's coming down from my knee is inflamed, one of the muscles right off my shoulder is off even worse (to the point where I couldn't lift my arm the other day) and on Saturday my neck locked up and in no-time I had a bulging speed bump popping out of there. Not pretty.
For my birthday David had given me 3 gift certificates from Stephanie Carper Smith, who has been a licensed Kinetic Massage Therapist since 1999 and who has over 1000 hours of education behind her. For all of you who reside in the Los Angeles area, I cannot recommend her enough: Stephanie has proven to be versatile in that she gives massages that relax, soothe, ease and 'reset' you, yet she also excels in targeting problem spots, soreness, muscle problems, etc. The massage that I received on my birthday was one of the relaxing ones. It was a wonderful thing that she came to me, as I was so incredibly relaxed afterwards that I was happy not having to drive home. 'Heavenly' is the word that springs to mind.
Given my physical state of being, I didn't expect the 'I'm-going-to-fall-asleep-massage' this past Sunday. Stephanie immediately found the troublesome areas and started working them. It indeed was not the massage that put me to sleep, but it certainly was targeting the sore areas and all the tension that caused them.
The result? Well, for starters, my speed bump is gone. I can lift my arm without pain in my shoulder and I feel overall a lot more relaxed. I mean, I definitely need many, many more massages as I strongly believe that they are aiding in not only my physical, but also my mental health [Dear Husband: ARE YOU READING THIS???!!!], but I whole-heartedly recommend Stephanie to anyone who is in need of either physical therapy massages, or simply wants to relax and re-vitalize.
So, here are the specials that she is offering to anyone who mentions that I sent them:
- One-Hour massage for $55 (that's a savings of $20) - First time clients only, valid July through September 2010
- Purchase a package of 4 massages at the regular price of $75, get the fifth one FREE - Valid July through September 2010.
- Similar deals are available for 1-1/2 and 2 hour massages. Please contact her for details.
You can contact her at the info below. Tell her that you were referred through my blog:
Stephanie Carper Smith
Kinetic Therapy
909-645-9936
kineticmassage[at]yahoo[dot]com
http://www.kinetic-therapy.com
Being Peace
"You are a being of peace" was part of today's mantra. Somehow it doesn't matter how often I remind myself of that, it doesn't quite feel like I am. Juggling all the elements in my life (which I have mentioned enough in previous posts and therefore am not going to repeat AGAIN), I really have to sit down, step back and take a moment to get to that peaceful place. Well guess what? Today's exercise was to meditate for 2 minutes. I can do that. I used the meditation that was linked to today's challenge. It was difficult and nice at the same time.
Difficult because I was dealing with 2 children who refused to nap. I had managed to tidy and clean my desk as I enjoy my work a lot more at a clean and empty desk. The time that took me was as long as the kids were quiet. That was it. The rest of their nap time at least one of them was crying, fussing, calling for me, or whatever-it-is-that-I-am-blocking-out-of-my-memory, but time to meditate wasn't in the cards. Or so they thought. I ended up turning the baby monitor upside down, pushed my chair back, closed my eyes and decided that the kids would be okay for the 2 minutes of meditation I was going to give myself.
And they were. And that's where the 'nice' came in. For the first several seconds I found myself feeling guilty for not checking on the kids, but once I let go, these few minutes turned into the most relaxing part of my day. The meditation allowed me to calm down a bit, relax and in a way 'regroup' with myself. I did feel better afterwards, I have to admit.
"I should do this more often"; a phrase I definitely find myself thinking on numerous occasions. Whether that is when I take a long shower, when I sit down to read a bit, when I go to bed early, work out, or like today, when I meditate. And yet, I hardly ever do. Simply because (I think) I am too busy, have no time, have other more important things to do, you name it. But...we're talking 2-3 minutes here. Really? I don't have 2-3 minutes to do something for me? Yeah, I too find that hard to believe. I hear you thinking.
So, on that note, I am going to make meditation a part of my daily routine. I can take 2-3 minutes a day to take a moment and step back. If it makes me feel better, then it's totally worth it. 2-3 minutes. I know I can do it. Can You?
Today marks the end of my 25-Day Challenge. To those who have followed me on it, I would like to say "Thank You". Some of you have mentioned that you might want to try it yourself. Feel free to use my blog as a starting point, or go to the Innerspace website directly. Either way, I wish you all the best with it and hope that it will be as helpful, enlightening, inspiring and guiding as it was for me. I would love to hear how things are going, if you decide to do it. So feel free to drop me a line or post a comment whenever you have something to share.
From this point on, I will continue with my 'usual' blogging, although I am breeding on something very exciting for my blog. It will (most likely) be entering the blogosphere this Friday, so stay tuned.
First things first: let's get the awkwardness out of the way - they lost (see, the change in pronoun here?). They lost, we lost, however you want to phrase it, it sucks. BIG TIME! I am bummed out and after having changed my Facebook profile pic this morning from an actual photo into the Dutch flag, I found myself changing it back to my 'old' profile picture this afternoon. In addition, I now have to re-do my toe nails and turn them back into a 'generic' color. Forget about what the loss means to the Dutch soccer team, their coach and everyone else who worked their rear ends off for the Dutch team! I have to re-do my toes!!!! Priorities people, priorities!!
So now that I have addressed that and it's out of the way, let's return to our daily lives and business. Oh God, I am so far behind with my writing. I have 25 Day Challenge stuff to write, recipes to share, and an awesome recommendation to share with those who live in the LA area.
I don't know if I can get all this done in one evening, but here goes nothing. Imah-gonna-try:
25 Day Challenge - Day 24 - Yes /No - Be Assertive
As a mother I want to please. I think as mothers we receive that blessing at the same time we find out we are pregnant. During our pregnancies, we want the baby to be comfortable, well-nourished, happy, etc. and we pursue this goal through a seeing our health care professionals, a well-balanced diet (okay, so maybe not all the time), some exercise (well, maybe not all the time either), making sure we get enough sleep (oops...), talking to the baby, etc. Once the baby is born we do everything in our power to keep our lil' one content: we feed, change, rock, nurse, cuddle, hug, kiss, burp, and stroke, and this is just the beginning of a long list of things we do to pursue our child's content-ness.
Personally I have found that it is so incredibly easy to get completely wrapped up in trying to please everyone around me. (I'm talking about mainly family members at this point, though that includes our pets.) Now that I am a mother to two, I have come to the realization that this is an almost impossible goal to pursue. I mean, for everyone to be content, 100% of the time. I am on purpose not using the word 'happy' as I strongly believe that happiness is not something that is dependent on one of two events that happen on any given day. Happiness is something bigger that is made up by much bigger elements than "can I have a piece of chocolate?".
I have found that there is tremendous power in the word 'no'. I am not talking about the "No" that we give our toddlers so many times during the day to tell them that they are not allowed to do something, such as pulling the cat's tail, sitting on the dog, throwing rocks over the wall into the neighbor's yard, hiding the dog toy under the shed where nobody can reach it, etc. I am referring to the 'no' that we should give a bit more often to keep ourselves from getting overwhelmed. In our pursuit of meeting everyone's needs, we often say "yes, I'll take care of that" even though we have not the slightest idea how or when we are going to do this thing we just committed ourselves to. Saying 'no' once in a while will allow you to actually get things done and it will allow you to look back at the end of the day and say "that was a productive day". The other scenario is the one where you said "yes" to too many things and at the end of the day you 'only' got half of them done. In which case (given that you are most likely exhausted) you will perceive your glass to be half empty instead of half full.
It is difficult to say "no", but it is so powerful if we can use it with honesty and respect. I am not saying to not help your kids, to not feed them, to not care for them. I am referring to the 'small' things that come up over the course of the day that aren't that small at all and can consume more time than you have available. Just because your toddler gets muddy outside, doesn't mean you have to do laundry right that moment. There are other clothes (s)he can wear. Just because you ran out of apple juice, doesn't mean you have to rush to the grocery store right that moment. They can drink something else (like water). Just because a friend asks you to look something up for them, doesn't mean it cannot wait until the following morning. I hope you see what I mean.
I have realized that being able to say "no" (or "not now") once in a while and knowing when to say it, is wonderful. If you say it with honesty and respect, you will not offend anyone. If you feel the need to explain, do so, but most likely you won't need to as the other person will get it (unless it's a 2-year old) and be fine with it.
Tomorrow's Challenge:
Being Peace
You don't need to search for peace; you are a being of peace. Any time, and place, you can step back from your thoughts and emotions. Just withdraw into your inner being, a place of total peace and just be.
Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.
