25 Day Challenge - Day 20

Resilience
When Ryder was born 5 months ago, I was surprised that there were several friends "friends" from whom I didn't hear.  No visit, no call, not even an email to say "congratulations".  To me, it seems pretty normal that when a friend has a baby, you drop a line (in whatever way, shape or form), but maybe that is not the norm for others.  I have no clue what was behind it and in the end, that really doesn't matter.

In my life I have gone through enough experiences that taught me who my real friends really were and it is surprising that those experiences were not just 'bad' ones.  There were also joyous experiences, like getting married, having babies, etc. 

When you realize that people who you had considered to be friends, aren't really friends at all, it is difficult.  Sometimes it takes longer to accept that fact, sometimes you're 'over it' quicker.

A few days ago, I came across one of those 'friends' at a function.  During my pregnancy with Ryder I hardly heard from her, and after Ryder was born, I didn't either.  We received a gift through her husband, but I never heard from her personally.  In the beginning it bothered me.  It wasn't so much disappointing as it just pissed me off.  Let's get something straight here: it really isn't about "pay attention to me" here.  That's not the issue.  I would have gone for a different career, if that was the case.  The gift was nice, but in the end, friendship is worth so much more. 

The challenge for today was to remember to laugh when things got difficult. 

Over the course of the past days, the issue has popped in and out of my mind several times.  You know, things like that come up when you are in your "thoughtful place" - on the toilet, in the shower, waiting for a red light in traffic, etc. 

And today I did end up laughing about it: actually, I laughed a bit at myself for wondering about this kind of behavior, for dissecting it.  Why was I bothering with that?  I have so many wonderful friends who I can count on, who I love, who I can laugh with, who share similarities, who are there for me and for whom I will always be 'there' as well.  I hadn't talked to this 'friend' since I-don't-know-when, so really, what was I doing? 

When I realized how silly the whole situation was, it was so much easier to let go.  Afterall, a friend is not someone who you 'just know'.

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." {Source: Unknown}

... and I am incredibly happy with the real friends I do have in my life.  They are a blessing and I am grateful for them.

Tomorrow's challenge:

With or Without Ego
With ego, you lash out when someone insults, disagrees or criticises you.  Without ego, you're able to accept your flaws without compromising your self worth.


Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.