Sunday, July 4, 2010

25 Day Challenge - Day 19

Knowing When Not To
Maybe you had noticed, maybe you hadn't, but I like to speak my mind.  If I am around 'others' (outside of the comforts of my home) I do edit myself, but if I am comfortably at home with my hubby or hanging out with my best friend, I usually say exactly what's on my mind.  It comes forth out of the comfort I feel being around these people.  I feel safe, at ease and feel comfortable enough to speak my mind.  In my writing I tend to speak my mind and put it as I see it (no, not necessarily as it is).  You don't like what you're reading?  That's okay.  You can stop, I won't force you to continue.

Unfortunately, I have found myself in a few situations lately in which I spoke my mind at home with my hubby, expressing my opinions, my thoughts, my ideas and it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to.  Speaking my mind didn't go over very well, and though the few times that it happened, we talked things over and 'made up', it has put me in a place where I start to wonder if I have to start editing myself.

This is a hard one for me, I have to admit.  I feel that with one's other half (husband / wife / partner / etc.) one should be able to share what's on their mind.  Even when the other person may not agree, or may not like it.  Isn't that what relationships are (also) about: being able to be open, honest and to speak up?  

Then, on the other hand, if you know that what you are about to say (or what you want to say) might end up being misinterpreted and cause a disagreement, is it then better to not say it and keep it to yourself?

I think the crux here is 'timing': there is a right time for everything and sometimes might just not be the right time.  I have come to the conclusion that there are occasions when it is better not to say what's on your mind, hold on to it and wait until a later moment in time to bring it up.  Maybe when things have calmed down, when the other person is in a more relaxed state of mind, when you're not pressured by time because the kids need to go to bed, whatever that is.

Knowing when not to roll out your arguments / thoughts / opinions is difficult.  Especially when you really want to share your opinion and you really want to be heard.  However, it may very well be possible that there is a better time to do this at which time you might even be heard a lot better.

Give it a try.  I will.

Tomorrow's Challenge:

Resilience is your personal power, your inner strength that allows you to rise above difficult circumstances, and bounce back stronger than before the challenge!  With such vitality, nothing can bring you down, or destabilise you.

Click here for the 'pause - think - act' elements of the challenge.

1 comment:

PB Rippey said...

Yes, timing and, I find, tone. I am constantly checking my tone when speaking to adults after talking to a toddler all day.

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