Their first smile. The first time you hear them say “mama”. Their first steps. Their first “I love you”. They mean so much and when they happen, we, as parents, make a mental note and vow that we will “always remember this moment”. And we do. Most of the time.
And then there is the other side of reality: our “daily” life. Or our “daily grind” – depending on the kind of day you’re having. In our busy lives (yes, even Moms have one) it is easy to overlook the smaller moments, simply because we are “busy”. Our responsibilities, jobs, stress factors, commitments and other “shoulds” make it easy to overlook the smaller, precious moments – the ones that are just as important and special as those “milestone moments”. We are slightly put out with the fact that our children yet again, woke us up in the middle of the night because the music had stopped, or because they kicked off their blankets and were cold. On top of that they manage to wake up before sunrise, depriving you from the extra hour you had hoped to catch after the interrupted sleep. Add a dash of stress and it doesn’t make for a very happy mommy (or daddy) in the morning.
You make breakfast, provide yourself with the much-needed caffeine in whatever way, shape or form you take it and decide to put this extra long day to good use and get some things knocked out and taken off that to-do-list-without-an-end. In goes the first load of laundry and out come the swiffer and the mop. Somewhere in between the smelly socks, mud covered clothes and the dirt that all the living creatures of your family have managed to bring inside, there are the meltdowns, the brotherly fights, toddlers hanging on your legs, begging for… [fill in the blank] and all you think is “this is not working for me. This way I will never get my work done.”
Last night it hit me: SO WHAT?! Who cares? None of it matters. It doesn’t matter if the laundry doesn’t get done. It doesn’t matter if my floors aren’t clean. What matters, is savoring the moments of my toddler clinging to my leg, begging for … [fill in the blank]. Him wanting to sit down with me in the middle of me making dinner to read a book for the umpteenth time. What matters, is enjoying the giggles of the boys, even when they’re up to mischief. The sparkle in their eyes when they enjoy one of my cupcake creations. Those are the moments that matter. Those are the moments that count in life. Not the clean floor – which by the way doesn’t remain clean for longer than 10 minutes anyways.
Deep in my heart I knew all this. None of this was really “news” to me. However, I have to admit that I didn’t always live accordingly. I had gotten in the habit of taking things for granted. Life had become a “routine”, in every sense of that word. The sun sets in the evening and when it rises in the morning, we start over again.
Yesterday I got a dose of painful reality: even though the sun sets in the evening, it may never rise again in the morning.
Last week David had coffee with a dear friend of ours. They spent an afternoon at Starbucks, chatting about a new business venture, a way to put their mutual creativity to good use, to create a business while having fun. Both were excited and hopeful. That was Thursday. Friday came and Friday went. But for Frank, the sun never rose on Saturday. At 49 years of age, he passed away that Friday night. Unexpectedly.
Life is precious and it should NEVER be taken for granted. Enjoy and embrace every moment – even the ones that don’t seem so pretty. Life can be taken from you any moment, without warning. Make the best of today, tell your loved ones you love them, kiss your children an extra time and be grateful for each and every day. Tomorrow may never come.
And then there is the other side of reality: our “daily” life. Or our “daily grind” – depending on the kind of day you’re having. In our busy lives (yes, even Moms have one) it is easy to overlook the smaller moments, simply because we are “busy”. Our responsibilities, jobs, stress factors, commitments and other “shoulds” make it easy to overlook the smaller, precious moments – the ones that are just as important and special as those “milestone moments”. We are slightly put out with the fact that our children yet again, woke us up in the middle of the night because the music had stopped, or because they kicked off their blankets and were cold. On top of that they manage to wake up before sunrise, depriving you from the extra hour you had hoped to catch after the interrupted sleep. Add a dash of stress and it doesn’t make for a very happy mommy (or daddy) in the morning.
You make breakfast, provide yourself with the much-needed caffeine in whatever way, shape or form you take it and decide to put this extra long day to good use and get some things knocked out and taken off that to-do-list-without-an-end. In goes the first load of laundry and out come the swiffer and the mop. Somewhere in between the smelly socks, mud covered clothes and the dirt that all the living creatures of your family have managed to bring inside, there are the meltdowns, the brotherly fights, toddlers hanging on your legs, begging for… [fill in the blank] and all you think is “this is not working for me. This way I will never get my work done.”
Last night it hit me: SO WHAT?! Who cares? None of it matters. It doesn’t matter if the laundry doesn’t get done. It doesn’t matter if my floors aren’t clean. What matters, is savoring the moments of my toddler clinging to my leg, begging for … [fill in the blank]. Him wanting to sit down with me in the middle of me making dinner to read a book for the umpteenth time. What matters, is enjoying the giggles of the boys, even when they’re up to mischief. The sparkle in their eyes when they enjoy one of my cupcake creations. Those are the moments that matter. Those are the moments that count in life. Not the clean floor – which by the way doesn’t remain clean for longer than 10 minutes anyways.
Deep in my heart I knew all this. None of this was really “news” to me. However, I have to admit that I didn’t always live accordingly. I had gotten in the habit of taking things for granted. Life had become a “routine”, in every sense of that word. The sun sets in the evening and when it rises in the morning, we start over again.
Yesterday I got a dose of painful reality: even though the sun sets in the evening, it may never rise again in the morning.
Last week David had coffee with a dear friend of ours. They spent an afternoon at Starbucks, chatting about a new business venture, a way to put their mutual creativity to good use, to create a business while having fun. Both were excited and hopeful. That was Thursday. Friday came and Friday went. But for Frank, the sun never rose on Saturday. At 49 years of age, he passed away that Friday night. Unexpectedly.
Life is precious and it should NEVER be taken for granted. Enjoy and embrace every moment – even the ones that don’t seem so pretty. Life can be taken from you any moment, without warning. Make the best of today, tell your loved ones you love them, kiss your children an extra time and be grateful for each and every day. Tomorrow may never come.
Dear Frank,
Thank you for all that you brought to our lives. Your warmth, kindness, big heart, generosity and amazing sense of humor will live on in our hearts and memory. May you rest in peace.
Thank you for all that you brought to our lives. Your warmth, kindness, big heart, generosity and amazing sense of humor will live on in our hearts and memory. May you rest in peace.
1 comment:
I think all mothers (in particular) struggle with getting past the day to day at times. A "seeing the forest for the trees" sort of thing. But anytime we can be reminded to stop and truly appreciate what's right in front of us is a blessing. I'm sorry for your loss.
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